INTROVERT

I am an introvert. A highly sensitive introvert. I love me just the way that I am. There are many good books written about introverts and extroverts. I am not going to write a book on introverts but it has certainly helped me understand better about my nature and why I did and still do things in a certain way. 

Being an introvert or an extrovert is a personality trait. It has been said that a lot of people fall somewhere in between. I don't think that I fall somewhere in between and feel very much the extreme of being an introvert.

A lot of the personality traits of an introvert describes me perfectly. I am a quiet person, reserved and I like to observe more than speak. 

Now in social situations, interaction can sometimes be difficult. If I am in a small gathering and topics are related to my interest, such as, books, I will be in my element and can talk away. In other settings, not sure much that way. I find myself wanting to run away, go home and just curl up with a book. It's especially worse if it is a large gathering. 

About 12 years ago, I attended a end of year holiday celebration at my work. I had just started a few months before at the company and knew a few people. I was expecting to see those people at the party, however, I could not find them. It was really crowded and very noisy. I walked around for a little hoping to talk to someone or for someone to talk to me. I got some food and ended up sitting by myself in the corner hoping no one would see me. Towards the end, I finally saw someone I knew and sat with her for a few minutes. After dinner was done, I ran out of there. I mean I ran really fast.

I also do not care to join the social club group that my company offers. It's where they plan events monthly and everyone usually attends it. I mean you pay for it so you might as well go, but I am not going to pay money to be sociable. I don't even attend the every Friday happy hour with my coworkers. Too much for me for a Friday and I don't like getting over stimulated.

It is not that I am a shy person, but large crowds just overwhelm me. I feel my heart racing faster and just not myself. I also tend to remain aloof, not intentionally, but it is sometimes difficult for me to start a conversation when there are a lot people. I think that I may have been misunderstood because of that, but that's not something to worry about. 

I sometimes wish I can talk to people by writing to them but we know that is not going to work. I also like to listen more than talk so when I am with people that are talking about certain topics, I just listen. Sometimes, when the conversation is really deep and interesting to me, that's what I love like if it was about a book I have read.

I have recently had back to back busy social weekends and also been really busy at work. We had a commitment to go somewhere this weekend, but after a really stimulating weekend, I informed the host that we will not make it after all this weekend. I mean sometimes it just gets to be to much and then I just want to shut down and be by myself (and the kids).

I think for me, the key to managing everything is recognizing that firstly, I am an introvert. As for other day to day stuff that comes up, here are a few things that I do:

• Give myself the alone time the moment I need to.
• Recognize what and who makes me feel in my element and try to do or hang out with those people more.
• Recognize which people and environment makes me feel uncomfortable and avoid it if I can. Here, it's observing the energy of the people around me and the way they make me feel. If I can't, I pretend to and sometimes that helps..but also not looking at the clock constantly to see if it is time to go home.
• Make everything and everyday my own. 
• In larger crowds, continue to listen and observe more. I certainly still prefer to avoid large crowds, but if I am in such an environment, I just breathe and smile.
• To remind myself that I don't have to behave in a certain way within a crowd. Its okay and a must to just be me even if I am standing on the sidewalk.
• Continue to focus on what gives meaning to me.

So I hope for you my friends who are introverts, will find it helpful. As I mentioned above, there are lots of books on introverts that may be helpful. For my extrovert friends, remember, we are a little unique, just like you, but sometimes too much of anything can really be a bit much for us. Its not intentional, its just sometimes hard and that's okay too. 

We introverts can make a huge difference in this world provided we do and follow what gives us meaning. We can be great changers and a great implementer but it has to be something we are passionate about. We are not limited in anyway. No one is limited. We all have the capacity but the how maybe different.

Do what you want to do. Not what you are told to do. Spend your time the way you like, not the way people "think" you should.

On that note my friends, wish you love!!!

Peace,

Monita