WHAT A GREAT VACATION

WOW, WOW , WOW!!! What a great vacation. We had such a good time. For the last 2 weeks, we travelled to three different places, Malaysia, Thailand and Singapore. It was very tiring but so worth it. The kids had such a good time with family. It was so relaxing and we absolutely had so much fun and dreaded to come back. The people were so friendly and polite and had such a soft and sweet way of speaking. Everyone was so helpful, filled with smiles and just seemed so happy. Anyone we passed by would say hello or smiled. I felt very comfortable right away.

Our first stop was in Malaysia. It is such a beautiful country. The weather was hot and is usually around 80 degrees all year around. I loved the food. You can get such a huge variety of the local Malaysian foods, Chinese, Indian and Thai. The foods are so rich and so delicious. My favorite breakfast food was the Thosai which is a rice flat pancake served with coconut and peanut chutney and a side of lentil curry. So delicious. The kids also sampled some of the local foods and enjoyed some of it. I on the other hand could not get enough of it and savored every single bite. Here is a view of the city.

The Christmas decorations there was amazing as you can see below. I mean I truly was not expecting this but wow... We visited family and had such great memories. It was really good quality time spent since we were there for only a few days. 

Our next stop was Phuket,Thailand. Once again such a beautiful place to visit but the place we stayed was a little further from the main town which was not what we expected. The beach was really for snorkeling so it was a little different then what we hoped for. Phuket has a famous beach called Patong beach which is crowded and was further then where we stayed but the town was really filled with young crowds and I would recommend that if you are going with young kids, go out a little earlier in the evenings as the crowd in the evening is more for partying which was not what we expected. The highlight for me was when we visited the Big Buddha and the visit was so serene. It felt so  nice to stop at the temple and just have a few minutes of silence.

I loved Thailand and the food. We also took a day trip to Phi Phi island and other small islands which was beautiful. We had an unexpected situation with the speedboat engine breaking down in the middle of the Adaman Sea. It was so scary and the sea was so choppy and rough. People on our boat including my kids and hubby started to throw up and we stuck for over 2 hours. We had to change boats and boy am I am glad that we all made it safely. I prayed during that time and was scared but also knew that we were going to be okay. 

Despite all that we made the most of our day trip and tried to enjoy it. I was so impressed with the kids as they enjoyed the rest of the day. I do think that it will be awhile before we get on another boat. 

Out last stop was in Singapore. Another beautiful place. I loved the food there too. We did the night safari which I do recommend, visited Sentosa island, Botanical gardens and went to the observation deck in Mandalay sands. It was so beautiful. The weather was hot but I did not mind it. We enjoyed every single minute and I have to say that Singapore would be  the one place I should stay for months. I can actually see myself living there short term. 

Overall it was such a good time, good food and lots of good quality lovely time with family. I loved every minute with my parents and my sisters and niece and nephew. We created so many new memories and I know that this is one trip my kids will always remember and treasure. 

The goal of the trip to spend quality time with family and just relax, rejuvenate and eat. We planned for this trip many months in advance and while I knew that it was just be beautiful and the time would go by quick, I wanted to make sure that every minute of it counted. I don't get to see my parents often so I certainly count my blessings when I do see them and cherish every single second. We certainly accomplished the quality time together and so much more than I ever imagined. I am so grateful for this opportunity and experience. I would certainly recommend all three places and I certainly hope that we get more opportunities to travel and create more memories. As I ended my vacation, it was certainly sad to leave my family but I know we will meet soon. 

We ended 2017 with a bang and overall it has been such a great year. I am so thankful for everything.

Wish you love.

Peace,

Monita

THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

So today we had out first snow fall just in time for the holiday season and the end of 2017. The snow is just so pretty and it really looks like winter wonderland outside. The kids were so excited this morning and went out and built their little frosty the snowman. While we only got a couple of inches, they still had such a sparkle in their eyes to go out and just run around and play. I always learn so much from them by just watching and hearing every thing they say. They did not even care that it was so cold outside, they just wanted to go out and enjoy the first winter snow.

Well it certainly is "the most wonderful time of the year and the hap-happiest season of all". I love that Christmas song by Andy Williams. It brings such joy to my heart this time of the year with all the other Christmas songs that I hear on my local ratio station. 

Every year the kids look forward to Christmas time. It is our favorite time of the year. We usually go the mall to take pictures with Santa and walk through a local park decorated like winter wonderland. Just so beautiful that  I wish it was Christmas all year along.

This year is really extra special for us since we are leaving next week visit my parents who live overseas. My parents are so excited to see their grandkids and I am so excited to see my mom and dad. It will such a good time to just be with them and spend every moment just enjoying their presence. I am so grateful that they are still in good health and that we have this chance to spend time with them. 

Th kids have not seen their grandparents in over 3 years so we are really just counting down the days and hours before we get on that plane. I have already told my mom of all the foods that I want to eat as soon as I get there. She is really an excellent cook and I am also looking forward to eating all the local foods too that I grew up with.

I hope that this holiday season we all get the time to spend with our loved ones, to do the the things that we want to do and also to take time to enjoy things that you want to do. In taking time to entertain and be around family, do take the time for yourself as well. It is important to give but also take for you. 

This is such a great time of the year not only to create many more lasting memories but to create time for you. That is what I am going to do when we are away. I really need the time to rejuvenate, relax and get a little pampered by my parents. We decided to take this trip since I had this strong feeling in my heart that I really wanted to see them and go home. 

If you have such a strong feeling towards wanting to do something for yourself this season, I hope you can find a way to do it. It was certainly not easy or cheap to make this trip happen for us but we decided to do it anyway coz you never know what new year will bring. I need this trip for myself, my kids and my parents. 

It is the happiest season after all so go after and do the things that make you sing in your heart. If you can't for some reason, oh say.... you have relatives visiting you this year but you rather be in Hawaii, picture yourself being in Hawaii and make that happen now. You can after all pretend to be in Hawaii while celebrating with them. Have a holiday Luau and then plan ahead for next year.

It may or may not be snowing where you are or but whatever it is that you are planning for and currently doing make it the most wonderful time of the year. This time will never return and we only have now to make it wonderful. Lets do it and wish you love!.

Peace,

Monita

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

 

HAPPY THANKSGIVING! So I read that Thanksgiving started in 1621, the Plymouth colonists and Wampanoag Indians shared an autumn harvest feast that is acknowledged today as one of the first Thanksgiving celebrations in the colonies. For more than two centuries, days of thanksgiving were celebrated by individual colonies and states. Interestingly, feast between the Pilgrims and the Wampanoag at Plymouth Colony contained waterfowl, venison, fish, lobster, clams, berries, fruit, pumpkin, and squash. Today, it’s all about the bird, pumpkin pie, green bean casserole, sweet potatoes and other yummy dishes!!! I love Thanksgiving.

So my kids and I were reflecting on Thanksgiving's history and how another year has almost gone by. Time does go by fast for sure. I feel we always have to be thankful everyday of our lives and for me it’s become a lifestyle and I hope it becomes that for you too.

Every year we usually celebrate Thanksgiving with my family. My sister usually host Thanksgiving every year and is a really good host. So it’s usually us, my brother and my sister and her family and we spend all afternoon from lunch to dinner just hanging out, chatting, eating and catching up.

I hope we all can take every day, but especially today to reflect, rejuvenate and revisit all the things that we are thankful for. I am especially thankful for my kids and my family, all the wonderful food we get to eat, the laughter’s, smiles and just seeing everyone’s face lit up and just being together. It truly brings such joy to my heart and I secretly say “Thank you God more of this please”….

I am also very thankful for all that I have been through this year. Some experiences have just been over the top, but I know it was what I needed. I am thankful for all the times I have been guided in mysterious ways and do not feel that anything is ever wasted. I am truly blessed.

I am additionally thankful for the job I have, my home and my friends. It is truly great that I am part of all this and we are all part of this wonderful world. I hope this Thanksgiving and the many more yet to come, we take a moment to just enjoy every single minute of this day and just be in the moment.Wish you love!

Peace,

Monita

MANTRAS IN MY LIFE

A mantra is something that is repeated during meditation to help one concentrate. It is a sacred text. I feel we all could use our own list of mantras as something that you need to guide you or reminders during difficult moments.

In living my wholly life, I have come up with a list of personal mantras that are useful for me. I read them every day and especially when I am going through something difficult. It is my guiding light and I also like to think of it as a vow to myself on this journey. Here is a list of my top mantras. I am sure I will likely add to this. They are in no particular order since I believe in all of them equally.

• To do what is best for Monita.
• To not let fear parent me.
• To be and give love, love and more love.
• Keep praying and meditating.
• To respect myself, love my body and focus on being complete and centered. Look at the mirror every day and know that I am beautiful and worthy.
• Experience joy in every moment. I may not know where I am going but I am on that ship that has left the dock.
• To be grateful for all that I have and am becoming.  Practice gratitude every day.
• Speak up.
• Always check in with myself daily or every hour and pay attention to what I am feeling (listening to my gut).
• Never lose faith and hope.
• To know that I am being guided by a higher source, my inner compass, my soul. I will always be okay.
• Not follow the cultural norm if it does not feel right or stand in the way of my authenticity even if I end up alone.
• Allow myself to feel emotional pain when it comes; to learn and work through it and not push it down or ignore it.
• To always be compassionate and kind regardless of what I am going through.
• Smile daily and at everyone who passes me by.
• Make choices in my life that serve and flow with my mission and intentions.
• To never give up and make brave choices.
• To keep learning and growing.
• When I fail, I will stand up and try again.
• To practice mindfulness in everything I do.

Hope this inspires you to come up with your list of mantras to live by.  I am here for you and support you. Wish you love!

Peace,

Monita

THE CUP

So my kids and I have with up with CUP or the Clean-Up Plan. My kids are young so they love to collect things....well them and me. I save every single thing that they bring back from school and we have a box for each one of them. We have over the last few years collected a whole bunch of stuff for them. So last week, we decided as the CUP team, that we would tackle one area at a time and thoroughly go through every single box, bags and shoe boxes (yes I have put stuff in there too), and sort through.

So for the last couple of weeks, we have picked one day and spent time going through each area. I have to say that I am really proud of my kids. They have done such a good job getting rid of a lot of stuff. We worked as a team and only with their consent, I got rid of the stuff that they had not played with for a while (rule was last month), or broken. We even collected a bunch of stuff for donation. We have a few more weeks before we get done but we have a plan. In fact, at the end of the day, my kids were the one asking “what’s next mommy”.

I have to say the CUP worked very well. We sat together and said we really need to do this. They are so much more organized now and it helps them focus. They absolutely love their space and I am proud that they are keeping it that way.

I feel like the CUP can really apply to all areas of our lives as well, not just the stuff we accumulate. I for one during this time have found my own things completely unorganized. I am now also planning to recruit my kids to help me get organized. It’s no wonder it has been so hard for me to focus.

Another area where the CUP has really strike my heart is in my own personal life. I found that I really like to compartmentalize things but it is all just “thrown in”. There is no organized way and no categories that make sense to me right now. When I refer to my personal life, I am speaking of things like my job, goals and future plans. I know what I want to do (or maybe I think I know) but have no idea when or how. It’s disorganized and I have to start going through all my personal areas and dig deep in the drawers and clean it out or get rid of what does not fit in my personal values.

Let’s take my job for example.  I come in everyday, do what I need to do and leave. I have been at my job for the last 12 years, in the same position, mostly doing the same thing. There have been opportunities that have come my way but I had to turn it down for one reason or another. So now part of my plan is to look at my job and see how it is aligning with my values and goals. Right now, I don’t have the answer but this is something I want to figure out. Now, it does pay the bills and I am grateful that I have a job.  I just can’t keep things the way they are since it is not allowing me to focus on what’s important and that is to make sure I am learning and growing every day.

I think I need to answer some very important questions to help me figure things out. Here are some that I came up with:

1. What are my goals? Do I enjoy what I am doing and is it aligning with my goals?
2. Am I learning and growing everyday?
3. How does it fit in with my personal and family values? If it does not fit, what are the steps that I need to take so I am in alignment with self and my family.
4. Where do I see myself in a few years?
5. Am I happy with where I am and what I am doing?
6. At the end of my life, when I look back, have I truly lived my life with what I wanted to do?

So for me the CUP is not just the stuff, which is important, but now I need to focus on other intangible areas and really come up with a plan and to figure it out. I need to focus more on the inside stuff. This is going to be hard and I want to take my time to come up with a plan and take the right steps. 

Everything is figureoutable. I have always known deep down what I needed to do, but I keep making excuses about why I can’t get to it today. So from now on, no more excuses. I am going to come up with a plan and work through it. I just need to do it and that’s it. There will always be tomorrow, but I am going to start today. So first things first, clean out my desk and closet and then move on.

I hope this motivates you to take a look at where you may need the CUP and have a plan to figure it out. It may be hard and definitely overwhelming but think about the end result of what you want to achieve and make that your motivation. That is certainly mine and part of living my wholly life. Only you can do it and know that I am here to support you my fellow tribe! Wish you love.

Peace,

Monita

IT'S THE WEEKEND

I am so happy it's Friday and time to unwind with my chai!!! It’s been along week. My work was less stressful this week, thanks goodness. I usually have these periods of ups and down where one week it is really busy and by the third week, I can usually breathe a little easier and catch up on other things with work.

I love the weekends and better yet if it were a 3 three day weekend. I usually find the time to catch up with my reading, meditate more and my walks are longer and more relaxed compared to weekdays. I am still up early in the mornings and take the time to read, write in my journal or just pray. It’s quiet and I love the stillness that I can experience on the weekends before the day starts.

There was a time last year and earlier this year when the weekends were mostly filled with social activities, such as, meeting friends, going out to dinner or me hosting. Ever since the start of this summer, I have really cut back on the whole social weekend thing.

To be honest, I am an introvert and socializing is not really my thing. I have a hard time with it and most of the people I know are night time people, meaning they like to stay up late, eat dinner late and drink. I barely drink since I just don’t enjoy it so I avoid it. I am happier with a cup of tea and a good book.

I am definitely not a late night person and the thought of staying up late really messes with me and my body. It takes me days to recover to get back to my regular sleep cycle. So now, I have started saying no more often and just prefer to be at home. Another thing that I also noticed is that I don’t have a lot of things common with the people I do know, so making conversations with them is starting to feel awkward.

Since I know my kids love to hang out with their friends, I try to entertain earlier in the day on weekends or schedule play dates, while still trying to keep to a schedule, though it is hard. It is a fine line that you have to balance like everything else.  I also try not to schedule a lot of things on the weekend especially their activities so they too can get a break. I just don’t believe that weekends should be a constant go, go, go.

 For me weekends are more about having the time to connect with my kids and just playing and being with them. They are young so I really want to treasure this time with them. I have a rule that every weekend we need to find one day or both days preferably, to spend time together and do nothing.

I have seen some people keep a really busy weekend with party’s to attend and kids’ activities and they keep it every single weekend. It’s a really busy socializing time with very late nights and hanging out with their group of friends. That’s what suits them and makes them happy and I am happy for them. Do what makes you happy.

I find weekends a time to rejuvenate myself and recharge my batteries so to speak for next week. As long as you take the time to power up yourself again to start on Monday, it does not matter how or what you do.

So I love my weekends. This weekend is all about family time and a chance for me to write more and read more. I love it and can’t wait to start with my cup of chai bright and early at 4:30am tomorrow morning. Enjoy!!!

Peace,

Monita

MORNING WALKS

So for the last 4 days, I have been taking a walk/jog around my neighborhood and I never knew how much I would love it but I really loved it. I am actually kind of surprised since I usually work out in my basement in the mornings around 5:30a.m. I am an early riser and love to work out in the mornings since it is really the only time I get to work out and it gives me so much more energy throughout the day.

Not sure what came over me the last few days but I wanted to go out and workout. I never feel that way and it is hard for me to work out once the day gets started and the kids wake up. So if I don’t work out at 5:30a.m., I usually don’t do it later.

I have actually never worked out outside and always thought that I would hate it or that it is too cold. To my surprise, I actually loved it. Since I was home, I could make the time to go out later in the morning. Now I am wondering how I can make the time to go out at 5:30am since it will be dark and cold and I will be by myself so I am a little concerned. But I am going to try.

I have also noticed that I have slept so well the last few days. I love feeling the cold air in my face and just witnessing the morning sunrise and the start of a new day. My eyes automatically go to the sky and the trees and the birds. It feels so refreshing and I truly feel so rejuvenated.

There’s something about being outside that truly connects with something inside of me. I noticed that during the time, my mind is quiet and all I do is just be with nature. It’s like we are one. It’s a little hard to put it in words but I feel like one with nature, with the trees, leaves, sky, birds and the smell of the air. There is a calmness that sweeps over me and time just goes by. It does not even feel like I am working out and the next thing I know, I am back home.

I get so lost in nature. I know where I am going and I usually have my headphones on listening to good music, saying hello or good morning to the people that I pass by. It feels so easy but the calmness that I feel is truly amazing.

So if you have never tried to workout outside, I suggest that you do try at least once. Even a short walk can do wonders for you. Nature is truly amazing and we can all truly learn to connect with it.

I looked up the word nature and it described it as “nature is derived from the Latin word natura, or "essential qualities, innate disposition", and in ancient times, literally meant "birth". I think it really brings out something inside of us that may be deep down or suppressed and it can strengthen us in amazing ways.  I can cry just being outside and being part of the marvelous nature. It feels like something inside of me is born and I feel so alive.

The experience will be of course different for everyone. You may not feel anything that I have felt but just take a moment when you are outside to be present with it. I am so thankful that I actually followed my instinct and went out and now realize something that I love that I actually thought I would not.

So I really hope that I can work out more often outside and have the opportunity too. I need to make it work even if I can do it only on weekends but I know that I will do it.

Peace,                            

Monita

THIS FALL

I love fall. I love all seasons but fall marks the end of summer and the start of nature winding down, the cool crisp air, pumpkins, thanksgiving and leaves falling off trees. In my kitchen, it’s the smell of cookies and cake baking in the oven, eating fresh apples from the farmers market, making pies, and making butter nut squash for my little ones. It reminds us of the impermanence of nature, of letting go and starting anew, a different type of new.

For me this fall is really marks the end of the old me and the start of a new me. I am really the same the person on the outside but I am completely different inside.  It’s a celebration of whom I was before and who I am today.

This year has been such a great change for me. I have changed a lot in my emotional maturity and spiritual evolvement and wow all the crazy experiences I have had to get to this point. I broke open this year and am now able to stand alone belonging nowhere, standing tall with my head up and my heart open.

Before I go on, I have to say how thankful I am of everything and I thank god every single day for bestowing such grace on me.

I have really grown in different ways and I celebrate each day how far I have come. The celebration will of course continue but this will be one of the years so far in my life where there has been such profound personal growth. I believe there is more to come and I have yet so much to learn.

I feel very much equipped to deal with anything else that will come forth and I have total faith in myself and god. This fall and every day from now, I cherish the new me who is wiser, braver, stronger, calmer and realizes that love is the only way. I have a different and more authentic way of living my life from here on and one of the greatest lessons that I have learned is I AM ENOUGH AND WORTHY.

I believe that I would not be who I am today without ever going through everything I did. Experiences make you and not break you. With everything that is going on in the world and in your inner world, take a moment and reflect how it has evolved you as a person. I am sure that most of us have had a pretty tough year and some crazy experiences and moments but think about how those experiences have shaped you and be thankful for them. Every single thing that you experience is a lesson, a growth opportunity and it is meant only for you. Some of us go through the same type of hardships, whether in your personal relationships, jobs, health or losses but each is unique to its own in the way you experience it. Nothing is wasted.

My friends, I cherish and celebrate every single one of them, not just the happy ones but especially the hard, painful ones. There have been happy, sad, angry, tearful and proud moments and there is more to come. I don’t know how to really express what I am feeling right now but all I can say is WOW!!!

So even though things are slowing down this fall and birds are migrating, the old me is gone and the birth of a new me has begun. I am so excited and can’t wait to see what’s ahead but for now, I take this present moment and truly knell down, look at the sky above me, with my arms wide open and say THANK YOU!!, I am ready to receive more and I LOVE YOU!!!

Peace,
Monita

A DIFFERENT VIEW

So my daughter’s day care missed the bus when it arrived at the stop. So the bus driver drove the kids back to school and moments later, just as the school was going to call the parents, someone from the day care showed up and drove them to the day care.

So given this is a new daycare for my daughter and only her second day there, I called at the time when the bus arrived to make sure she was okay and that was when I learned about what happened. I totally freaked out. I mean how you could forget to pick these kids up!!!! It’s unacceptable; they are a daycare and have a responsibility. I was furious nevertheless. I informed the person in charge and mentioned that the bus arrives the same time every single day and you can’t forget the kids. It’s not okay.

When my daughter got there, they called me and I spoke to her. I asked her if she got scared and was filled with emotions. Her immediate response was “Mommy I got to ride in 2 buses today”.  Her tone was relaxed and calm and her teacher said she was smiling when she walked in. She was not scared and did not cry. I was afraid at first that she would worry and not know who was picking her up. I was the one who was panicked and she was so calm.

I was truly amazed and proud of her bravery. She was so calm and said she was so excited to ride in 2 buses. It was her calmness that made me relax. She was okay and was not upset. I had my reasons to be upset and rightfully so as a parent when safety is my biggest concern.

They apologized and said it won’t happen again. I was really trying to be my calm while very stern to get my message to them. I was really civil. I knew that they were probably already feeling bad.

I learned a huge lesson from my daughter that day. She showed bravery and looked at it positively that she got to ride 2 buses and she said she knew she was going to be okay. I have now tried to look at things a little differently. For example, this morning I was stuck in a lot of traffic and needed to get to work early but instead of getting all worked up, I relaxed and thought what a great time to enjoy the sunrise and listen to some good music. The extra time in the car made me calmer and I was smiling when I got to work. I remembered what my daughter said, it is going to be okay.

So from now on, for the small everyday little gritty stuff that gets to me, I am going to try to look at it calmly and positively. Like my daughter, I am going to smile and take a different perspective and not get worked up.

 I am not saying that it was okay for the day care to forget her, it is absolutely not okay and they got to hear it. Under no circumstances will I negotiate on their safety and health. I had all rights to be upset at them but I also thanked god that she was okay and she was brave.

There are times when we can’t quite spin it positively, like illness or death, but getting stuck in traffic, people being irritating, not getting enough rest or exercise or any of the other times when stuff just happens whether at work or home we can chose our reaction to it and see it differently. We can sulk and complain and whine which will get us nowhere, or we can confront it and take a different, positive spin on it which is the way I strongly intend to see things. Look for the lesson in everything that happens. I hope the day care did and will never make the mistake of forgetting the kids, but we have to move on from here.

It may be hard to see it differently at first but there is always a way. ALWAYS!

Peace,

Monita

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY

Happy 8^th Birthday Baby!!! I can’t believe you are eight years old.

It really does seem like yesterday when he was born. Time really does fly and I am sure any parent reading this can surely relate.

I am so excited that is my baby’s birthday today. He was so excited this morning and has been awake since 5:00am. I love seeing his big, sleepy, tired eyes and smiles this morning and sang to him when he woke up. Of course, he does not know that I sneaked into this room and kissed him at 4:00am and wished him happy birthday.

We have his entire day planned out exactly as the way he wants to celebrate his birthday today. For breakfast his wish was to have scrambled eggs with extra cheese, cupcakes, lunch at school and for dinner he wants to have pizza. We also got him all his birthday gifts that he asked for and arranged them out just the way he liked. He also ran downstairs first thing this morning and went straight for his gifts. I loved seeing the joy and smile on his face. Every day is truly special and precious but today it is definitely more special.

Ah…. the joys of birth and birthdays something so special about the day that you never ever forget. The special feeling, the warmth and love, lots of love. I never knew how much I could truly love another being until you and your sister. You both truly filled my heart with so much love that is impossible to describe the feeling without me crying.

 My both kids love birthdays, not only theirs but also celebrating others. We always hear about their friend’s birthday at school with such love and definitely try to attend their celebrations as well.

My baby has really grown up so fast and I am so grateful every single day for him and his sister.  He is so special and I love being his mom and raising him. It truly is such an honor and I thank god for both of my kids every day.

I have also learned so much from him and my 5 year old princess and both continue to teach me every single day. They are both so loving and caring and I love hugs and kisses from them every day and just holding them.

As you blow out your birthday candles later today, my hope and prayer on this day and every day is for you (and your sister) to be healthy, strong, brave, loving, generous, kid, compassionate and confident kids. I hope to continue doing my best every day to be the best possible mom I can be for the both of you. I pray to continue raising you just to be you and to show you that you are the most Awesome kids and how proud I am of the both of you!!!

I am truly blessed to be your mom and thank you so much!!! Thank you for all your love and know that you are very much loved and nothing will ever change that. Have a great birthday baby and we are going to have a real blast today and this week!! I love you!!

Peace,

Monita 

TAKING A BREAK FROM SWIM LESSONS

😞

The emoji reflects my current feelings. My swim coach informed me that she is leaving and moving to another state. I was totally shocked, sad and the thought of her leaving overwhelmed me with emotions. I was happy for her since her husband got a good job opportunity and she was going to be close to her family. Still I could not help but think will I ever learn how to swim.

I love my coach. She has got me really far in overcoming my fear and getting comfortable in the water. I look forward to our lessons every Saturday morning and getting in the pool. An hour with her goes so fast and she keeps cheering me on and never lets me give up. I am so lucky to have found a coach like her who truly cares about me and took the time to understand my fear with water. She never rushed me in anyway and kept encouraging me. She is the best swim coach ever!!!!

I am sure that I can find another coach but will it be the same? It may or may not. I have tried another coach during her transition and it was not the same. So for now, I am going to take a break from swimming. I am not quitting and deep down know that one day I will be doing laps in the pool.

For now, this seems to make sense. There is a new swim school opening up next year in the spring which is bigger so I will continue then. Losing my coach has certainly made me sad but I know that when I start back next year, I will certainly be able to pick it up where I left of and go from there, I hope. My coach believed that I could learn how to swim and so do I. I actually love being in the water and am sad that I have decided to take a break but I know that it feels like the right decision at this time.

Well, that is life right. Things don’t always work out the way you want them too but you don’t quit. You don’t just raise your hands and say oh well, that’s it. You find another way, another coach. It’s hard when you really like someone and get along so well, whether a teacher, a good friend or family and things take a different turn.  But it’s just another turn not a dead end.

I had to deal with the emotions of my coach leaving but always knew deep down that I was not going to give up learning. I was not expecting my coach to leave but she has too, for a better life. I am all in support of her and my best wishes will always be with her. I will never forget her and she knows where to find me should she ever need anything. I love you coach and am so happy for you!!!

So it’s going to be okay. I am not going to quit. I am going to take a break and just relax till next spring. There will be times where I will have access to a pool and will keep practicing. It’s good to always keep in mind that life will go on. I am a strong believer that everything happens for a reason. Don’t give up on anything and always belief that maybe something even better will come along. Yes, it will!

Peace,

Monita

LEARNING TO RELAX

Relaxing in the water was one of the things that I have had to learn in swimming and especially in floating coz you all know if you can’t relax yourself when you float you will not be able to stay afloat. Learning to relax my muscles and just lay back in the pool has helped me in my personal life. 

What I am talking about here is the everyday day stuff. You see, I have always been the tensed up, stressed out, worried about my to do’s.  All the questions, stress and mind chatter. I have realized that all that worrying has really not gotten me anywhere. 

I needed to stop worrying, to lighten up a little up, to relax and then come up with some goals and a plan to deal with the day ahead of me.  I have noticed that by relaxing, I am more in control of my breathing and my shoulders are not hunched up anymore.

 You see, I never realized that when I am at work or home, my shoulders automatically get tight and stay that way especially if I have a long list of to do’s. I have now started to notice my tensed shoulders and muscles and then I take a few deep breathes, do some neck exercises, stretch and just relax. I immediately feel my shoulders drooping, my muscles loosening and my mind clearer and not so noisy. 

I always try to figure out the source of my tension and why am I always hunched up. Shouldn’t everyday life be fun, filled with joy and lightened up? Isn’t life too short anyways to not relax? I want to live  a long time and see my kids grow up and I know that staying  tensed was not only not going to accomplish anything but could also potentially lead to other health issues down the road. I had already started to experience headaches and decided that it was totally not worth it.

I needed to find a way to relax as I do when I am in the pool floating on my back. One of the first things is recognizing that I am tensed. Then I take a few deep breathes, get quiet, say a little prayer or meditate if I can. I also go for walk or listen to music or look up some funny jokes to laugh. I have found  all these things work for me.

Getting to the relaxed state every hour or every minute daily is important to me and has helped me feel less stressed. No matter what it is that I am doing, driving  in traffic, taking care of my young kids, dealing with my manager or coworker, deadlines at work, groceries, laundry, and the list can go on and on, I check in with myself to see how I  feel, how is my breathing and how  tensed are my muscles.  If every part of me is contracting then I take a moment to just relax. We are a culture that is on a constant go and tensing up just makes me feel more stressed, more worked up, more agitated, not as present and centered which is my daily goal.

But what I am referring to here is just the daily grind of work, school, activities, laundry cooking etc. It won’t make the list of things that you have to complete go away but it will help you to better deal with it while you are in it. I think just relaxing in anything will help and for me it has helped me to float in the water.   

I am not in that constant relaxed state but I do notice myself a lot more and that’s when I take the steps to relax and calm my mind and feel my body as if I am floating on my back. I do have to visualize floating on my back to help me to get to that relaxed feeling.  Then I list all the things I need to accomplish and take the necessary steps to handle the day.

 I often laugh at myself for taking things so seriously. I also find myself able to accomplish a lot more and do things more efficiently. So every morning, when I wake up I tell myself that no matter what the day holds, I will stay relaxed .  My mantra is: Life is too short so go ahead breathe and relax. Staying relaxed should be the way of life.

Peace,

Monita

FIRST STEP

The first step in deciding that you are going to do something is just to make up your mind and commit that Yes; I am going to do this. It is making a commitment to yourself that you are going to do it. It is almost a vow, a promise, kind of like making marriage vows but to yourself. 

You take baby steps, one step at time, one foot forward at a time knowing that the the next steps will come eventually. I did not set up a deadline of when I wanted to learn how to swim and, also kept in mind, that even if I did try I may come to find out that swimming is just not for me and that would be okay to. There is always that possibility that I may never learn or get comfortable in the pool.

But I had to start somewhere and give it a try. The first step was making the vow and saying okay Monita you are going to sign up for the classes and show up. I have found that making vows to myself, a personal commitment and visualizing worked for me in swimming. So I showed up for my class and went in the pool. Step by step in the water slowly holding onto the rail and the wall.

The very first thing I did was to put my face in the water and blow bubbles. Easy enough and I did it. Slowly from there I progressed to holding the wall, kicking and then using the kickboard to just kick. Step by step I progressed to adding the arms, one at a time, and learning to breathe on my side, while kicking and using one arm with one always holding the kickboard.

What I learned from the first couple of months of these first basic techniques of learning how to swim was that taking the small steps and spending a lot of time in each one of them till I got comfortable before I progressed to the next technique was necessary.  I spent a lot of time practicing to put my face in the water, learning to kick and adding the arms and breathing. Breathing is the hardest and, I am not there yet, so I spend a lot time practicing the breathing.

Remember, I have a lot fear with water so for me the progress was slow. I had all the time to learn and every time I felt my body tense in the water, I had to go back to the basics, blowing bubbles and just kicking. I could not just be in the pool with a bunch of other people.  I needed someone by my side to hold on too and who recognized the intensity of my fear. I was truly blessed to have found that coach who guided me every way.  Because she was so relaxed in her approach and kept motivating me, I have somehow learned to be more relaxed in the pool which also carried into other aspects of my life and with my kids.

Being more relaxed in the pool helped me to float and just glide in the water. It’s amazing how things seem so different and so much easier to handle when you are relaxed. I now enjoy floating and can just relax my muscles rather than squeezing them. I can feel my body float up when I just don’t tense those muscles. It is always harder to relax when I am tired so halfway through my swim lessons; I used to just sink in. Also I am in a pool that is only 4 feet so the fact that I can push myself and feel my feet on the floor was very reassuring. I am not able to yet go in a 5 feet pool but with time I will get there.

The key is to keep showing up and even though I may never get to swim in a 5 feet pool and, I don’t know if I will ever, I have to keep taking those steps to get in the water again and again and hope that one day it will all come together.

 I guess that is the way in life as well. You may not be able to see where you are going or if you are in a difficult situation, it may seem like it will never end or you won’t be able to come out of it. But always remember that you will and take that first step to do what you need to do to overcome it when you are ready. Since taking my first step and getting in the water,I have had the courage to take many other first steps. 

My hope for you that when you are able to take the first step in whatever it is that you are contemplating to do. You definitely have my support so take the first step.

Peace
Monita

LEARNING TO SWIM

So happy on my swim day as you can tell with my smile. This  spring was really special as I started to transform and begin my new life. I went into the spring season with facing one of my biggest fears... WATER!! I never learned to swim when I was young but now I have started taking swim classes.

I am going to backup and tell you the how scared I was with enrolling for my swim class. I went back and forth for awhile (oh like 1 year!!! ) about signing up and some days I felt more courageous than others and actually made some calls to find out where I could take classes.

I was so excited, nervous and going through  mixed emotions. My kids started to learn to swim about a year ago and just watching them made me think that I too can do it and knowing that someday that I to will be able to get in the water with them and have fun.

 Battling with my mind was another story but I have visions of me actually doing laps in the pool with my kids. I keep that vision in my mind all the time as I believe that what I start to visualize will come true. I have always wanted to learn how to swim but somehow the push to start and the strong feelings to learn was just never there. I guess maybe the time was not right before. Now it feels different. The push and excitement to start is not like anything that I have ever felt. It is strong almost like something out there is pushing me and the believe in myself that I can do this.

So I finally signed up at my kids swim school and got a really cool coach. I told her about my fear with water and we started with really baby steps. The first day, I just walked down the side of the pool and stayed very close to the stairs and my coach. I wanted to be sure that I could just stand and walk out if I needed to. But I made it through my first lesson and actually blew bubbles in the water. I also managed to put my face in the water which totally surprised me.


It has now been about 5 months and I can use a kick board to swim a lap and float on my back. It was not easy getting to the place where I have come and taking baby steps was key for me. It took me a long time to just get used to being in the water and blowing my bubbles.

I am really proud of how far I have come and I am only just getting started. Getting to learn how to  swim is a big deal and even writing is a big deal. I have learned so much about myself in the last 5 months and I owe a lot of what I have learned by my swim classes by taking the first step, actually signing up and getting my feet wet. 

I give the credit to where I am today to my kids. They were the ones who taught me, by showing me, how much fun it is to be in the water and most importantly to relax!!! I have so much more to learn from them and can't wait. Till next time...

Peace
Monita