HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY

Happy 8^th Birthday Baby!!! I can’t believe you are eight years old.

It really does seem like yesterday when he was born. Time really does fly and I am sure any parent reading this can surely relate.

I am so excited that is my baby’s birthday today. He was so excited this morning and has been awake since 5:00am. I love seeing his big, sleepy, tired eyes and smiles this morning and sang to him when he woke up. Of course, he does not know that I sneaked into this room and kissed him at 4:00am and wished him happy birthday.

We have his entire day planned out exactly as the way he wants to celebrate his birthday today. For breakfast his wish was to have scrambled eggs with extra cheese, cupcakes, lunch at school and for dinner he wants to have pizza. We also got him all his birthday gifts that he asked for and arranged them out just the way he liked. He also ran downstairs first thing this morning and went straight for his gifts. I loved seeing the joy and smile on his face. Every day is truly special and precious but today it is definitely more special.

Ah…. the joys of birth and birthdays something so special about the day that you never ever forget. The special feeling, the warmth and love, lots of love. I never knew how much I could truly love another being until you and your sister. You both truly filled my heart with so much love that is impossible to describe the feeling without me crying.

 My both kids love birthdays, not only theirs but also celebrating others. We always hear about their friend’s birthday at school with such love and definitely try to attend their celebrations as well.

My baby has really grown up so fast and I am so grateful every single day for him and his sister.  He is so special and I love being his mom and raising him. It truly is such an honor and I thank god for both of my kids every day.

I have also learned so much from him and my 5 year old princess and both continue to teach me every single day. They are both so loving and caring and I love hugs and kisses from them every day and just holding them.

As you blow out your birthday candles later today, my hope and prayer on this day and every day is for you (and your sister) to be healthy, strong, brave, loving, generous, kid, compassionate and confident kids. I hope to continue doing my best every day to be the best possible mom I can be for the both of you. I pray to continue raising you just to be you and to show you that you are the most Awesome kids and how proud I am of the both of you!!!

I am truly blessed to be your mom and thank you so much!!! Thank you for all your love and know that you are very much loved and nothing will ever change that. Have a great birthday baby and we are going to have a real blast today and this week!! I love you!!

Peace,

Monita 

TAKING A BREAK FROM SWIM LESSONS

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The emoji reflects my current feelings. My swim coach informed me that she is leaving and moving to another state. I was totally shocked, sad and the thought of her leaving overwhelmed me with emotions. I was happy for her since her husband got a good job opportunity and she was going to be close to her family. Still I could not help but think will I ever learn how to swim.

I love my coach. She has got me really far in overcoming my fear and getting comfortable in the water. I look forward to our lessons every Saturday morning and getting in the pool. An hour with her goes so fast and she keeps cheering me on and never lets me give up. I am so lucky to have found a coach like her who truly cares about me and took the time to understand my fear with water. She never rushed me in anyway and kept encouraging me. She is the best swim coach ever!!!!

I am sure that I can find another coach but will it be the same? It may or may not. I have tried another coach during her transition and it was not the same. So for now, I am going to take a break from swimming. I am not quitting and deep down know that one day I will be doing laps in the pool.

For now, this seems to make sense. There is a new swim school opening up next year in the spring which is bigger so I will continue then. Losing my coach has certainly made me sad but I know that when I start back next year, I will certainly be able to pick it up where I left of and go from there, I hope. My coach believed that I could learn how to swim and so do I. I actually love being in the water and am sad that I have decided to take a break but I know that it feels like the right decision at this time.

Well, that is life right. Things don’t always work out the way you want them too but you don’t quit. You don’t just raise your hands and say oh well, that’s it. You find another way, another coach. It’s hard when you really like someone and get along so well, whether a teacher, a good friend or family and things take a different turn.  But it’s just another turn not a dead end.

I had to deal with the emotions of my coach leaving but always knew deep down that I was not going to give up learning. I was not expecting my coach to leave but she has too, for a better life. I am all in support of her and my best wishes will always be with her. I will never forget her and she knows where to find me should she ever need anything. I love you coach and am so happy for you!!!

So it’s going to be okay. I am not going to quit. I am going to take a break and just relax till next spring. There will be times where I will have access to a pool and will keep practicing. It’s good to always keep in mind that life will go on. I am a strong believer that everything happens for a reason. Don’t give up on anything and always belief that maybe something even better will come along. Yes, it will!

Peace,

Monita

LEARNING TO RELAX

Relaxing in the water was one of the things that I have had to learn in swimming and especially in floating coz you all know if you can’t relax yourself when you float you will not be able to stay afloat. Learning to relax my muscles and just lay back in the pool has helped me in my personal life. 

What I am talking about here is the everyday day stuff. You see, I have always been the tensed up, stressed out, worried about my to do’s.  All the questions, stress and mind chatter. I have realized that all that worrying has really not gotten me anywhere. 

I needed to stop worrying, to lighten up a little up, to relax and then come up with some goals and a plan to deal with the day ahead of me.  I have noticed that by relaxing, I am more in control of my breathing and my shoulders are not hunched up anymore.

 You see, I never realized that when I am at work or home, my shoulders automatically get tight and stay that way especially if I have a long list of to do’s. I have now started to notice my tensed shoulders and muscles and then I take a few deep breathes, do some neck exercises, stretch and just relax. I immediately feel my shoulders drooping, my muscles loosening and my mind clearer and not so noisy. 

I always try to figure out the source of my tension and why am I always hunched up. Shouldn’t everyday life be fun, filled with joy and lightened up? Isn’t life too short anyways to not relax? I want to live  a long time and see my kids grow up and I know that staying  tensed was not only not going to accomplish anything but could also potentially lead to other health issues down the road. I had already started to experience headaches and decided that it was totally not worth it.

I needed to find a way to relax as I do when I am in the pool floating on my back. One of the first things is recognizing that I am tensed. Then I take a few deep breathes, get quiet, say a little prayer or meditate if I can. I also go for walk or listen to music or look up some funny jokes to laugh. I have found  all these things work for me.

Getting to the relaxed state every hour or every minute daily is important to me and has helped me feel less stressed. No matter what it is that I am doing, driving  in traffic, taking care of my young kids, dealing with my manager or coworker, deadlines at work, groceries, laundry, and the list can go on and on, I check in with myself to see how I  feel, how is my breathing and how  tensed are my muscles.  If every part of me is contracting then I take a moment to just relax. We are a culture that is on a constant go and tensing up just makes me feel more stressed, more worked up, more agitated, not as present and centered which is my daily goal.

But what I am referring to here is just the daily grind of work, school, activities, laundry cooking etc. It won’t make the list of things that you have to complete go away but it will help you to better deal with it while you are in it. I think just relaxing in anything will help and for me it has helped me to float in the water.   

I am not in that constant relaxed state but I do notice myself a lot more and that’s when I take the steps to relax and calm my mind and feel my body as if I am floating on my back. I do have to visualize floating on my back to help me to get to that relaxed feeling.  Then I list all the things I need to accomplish and take the necessary steps to handle the day.

 I often laugh at myself for taking things so seriously. I also find myself able to accomplish a lot more and do things more efficiently. So every morning, when I wake up I tell myself that no matter what the day holds, I will stay relaxed .  My mantra is: Life is too short so go ahead breathe and relax. Staying relaxed should be the way of life.

Peace,

Monita

FIRST STEP

The first step in deciding that you are going to do something is just to make up your mind and commit that Yes; I am going to do this. It is making a commitment to yourself that you are going to do it. It is almost a vow, a promise, kind of like making marriage vows but to yourself. 

You take baby steps, one step at time, one foot forward at a time knowing that the the next steps will come eventually. I did not set up a deadline of when I wanted to learn how to swim and, also kept in mind, that even if I did try I may come to find out that swimming is just not for me and that would be okay to. There is always that possibility that I may never learn or get comfortable in the pool.

But I had to start somewhere and give it a try. The first step was making the vow and saying okay Monita you are going to sign up for the classes and show up. I have found that making vows to myself, a personal commitment and visualizing worked for me in swimming. So I showed up for my class and went in the pool. Step by step in the water slowly holding onto the rail and the wall.

The very first thing I did was to put my face in the water and blow bubbles. Easy enough and I did it. Slowly from there I progressed to holding the wall, kicking and then using the kickboard to just kick. Step by step I progressed to adding the arms, one at a time, and learning to breathe on my side, while kicking and using one arm with one always holding the kickboard.

What I learned from the first couple of months of these first basic techniques of learning how to swim was that taking the small steps and spending a lot of time in each one of them till I got comfortable before I progressed to the next technique was necessary.  I spent a lot of time practicing to put my face in the water, learning to kick and adding the arms and breathing. Breathing is the hardest and, I am not there yet, so I spend a lot time practicing the breathing.

Remember, I have a lot fear with water so for me the progress was slow. I had all the time to learn and every time I felt my body tense in the water, I had to go back to the basics, blowing bubbles and just kicking. I could not just be in the pool with a bunch of other people.  I needed someone by my side to hold on too and who recognized the intensity of my fear. I was truly blessed to have found that coach who guided me every way.  Because she was so relaxed in her approach and kept motivating me, I have somehow learned to be more relaxed in the pool which also carried into other aspects of my life and with my kids.

Being more relaxed in the pool helped me to float and just glide in the water. It’s amazing how things seem so different and so much easier to handle when you are relaxed. I now enjoy floating and can just relax my muscles rather than squeezing them. I can feel my body float up when I just don’t tense those muscles. It is always harder to relax when I am tired so halfway through my swim lessons; I used to just sink in. Also I am in a pool that is only 4 feet so the fact that I can push myself and feel my feet on the floor was very reassuring. I am not able to yet go in a 5 feet pool but with time I will get there.

The key is to keep showing up and even though I may never get to swim in a 5 feet pool and, I don’t know if I will ever, I have to keep taking those steps to get in the water again and again and hope that one day it will all come together.

 I guess that is the way in life as well. You may not be able to see where you are going or if you are in a difficult situation, it may seem like it will never end or you won’t be able to come out of it. But always remember that you will and take that first step to do what you need to do to overcome it when you are ready. Since taking my first step and getting in the water,I have had the courage to take many other first steps. 

My hope for you that when you are able to take the first step in whatever it is that you are contemplating to do. You definitely have my support so take the first step.

Peace
Monita