WHAT IF

So its been been more than week of full What If questions and scenarios. We all usually have What If questions and I think some of it is normal and applies to your normal everyday life. Like What If I chose this job offer over the other, or What If I chose to move away to a different country for work, or What If I could just think why I cannot loose this last few pounds. Its more like looking into the pros and cons of wanting to do something or making a decision.

But my What If's lately are more like the worst case scenarios. Perhaps its due to all things happening in this world, which are not in my control, but there are also things that are more personal. Some of the questions of the What If scenarios are actually good for me and I think its making me reflect and think about my decisions a little more.

The worst case scenarios are more like What If I am stuck in this job forever, or What If am unable to be there for kids if something were to happen to me, or What If I come into  office one day and all my stuff is packed for me....okay I actually pictured that happening this week. There is no reason for me to believe that it will happen but all this What If has certainly made me anxious.

The good thing is that I realize what is happening in my monkey mind with my What If questions and I know I need to reflect and figure out what is causing it? What can I do about it? and how can I be more present to my life as it is right now, today, this minute instead of worrying about the What If. 

The What If is actually just What If. There are scenarios I am playing in my mind and really for the most part not serving me in a better way. Not the What If I am more conscious of what I am eating everyday to loose the weight I need to. That is actually helpful since it is making me think and realizing all the changes that I need to make in my life.

The worrying about my job and my kids part is probably due a variety of things. For my kids, it is the recent number of increase in school shootings that has just made me so upset and mad. It is also due to the fact that my workplace is undergoing a lot of system changes so I am having to work a lot more and have a couple of busy months ahead of me. All this is fine if you enjoy what you are doing but what If you are not, like me.

That's the thing. I don't enjoy it anymore, I am not growing, not learning and I am not happy about the thought of going to work. So I know why I have a lot of What IF with my job and actually realize that my picturing my boxes in my cube being packed maybe something I am wishing for deep inside of me so I don't have to make that decision to leave since it would done on my behalf.

Coming back to my kids. Its only natural as a parent to worry but my What If's has been overwhelming me quite a bit.The recent news and events have certainly exacerbated my worries and added to my What If. I also realize that these events are not in my control but I can certainly hope and pray and do something about it. I also know that writing in my journal has certainly helped me through it. If I am contantly worrying about the What If's in my life, I am not paying enough attention to my kids, my everyday stuff or to anything else, like things that are in my control. It's my energy that is being directed into something that may or may not happen as it is only a scenario or a question played in my mind. It is not something that I can answer today or anytime soon and is certainly not helping my stress level which is affecting my health.

The only thing that I do when I am thinking about my What If's, is pay attention to what it is and take a few deep breaths. If it is about my kids, then I have to ask myself where is this coming from and is it warranted and most of the time it is not at that moment. Its 'my mind traveling where it wants to rather then being in the now. 

I also spend some quiet time with myself, maybe 10-15 mins and that usually helps. I do some What If's that is actually helpful for me in some ways, but the ones that are into the future or the past are the ones that are usually not that helpful questions. Also talking to someone who will listen will help. Someone who you can trust and who you know will give you maybe a different way of looking at. 

So if you are worrying about your What If's, I would strongly suggest that you don't unless warranted of course. I have wasted a lot of time on my What If's when I can actually spend the time being and doing more things that are productive, in the now, so I don't have time going down my What If's list. I need to channel my energy to the things that really matter and do it. After all it is certainly not helping me in any way so focussing a little more and coming back to my now is certainly a way to eliminate my What If's. 


I hope that it helps you too. Wish you love!

Peace

Monita

WEEK OF THE FLU

Well as much as I was dreading the flu, we all got it. It started with my son last week, then my daughter, followed by me and my husband. I mean we were all knocked down with this virus for a full week. Although the kids are much better, I am still dealing with some minor symptoms but hope to get all better in a few days.

It's so important to take care of yourself during this flu season. There are a lot of people who are getting sick and its serious. I did not send my kids to school till they completely recovered but  I also know a lot of kids in school who are sick and should not have been there. I really hope they stay home to avoid spreading the virus.

We need to all take extra precautions. I feel it should not just be the flu season but everyday. My doctor was advising me to rest, eat well, wash my hands, and not go to work. How I wished I really did not have to go to work everyday 😊.

Although the flu has certainly made me weak, my spirit has certainly been up. I am resting and eating well and doing all the things I need to do to get my strength back. I have really been taking care of me. I have been reading a lot and just watching non stop episodes of property brothers on HGTV. Love that show by the way.

So coming back to taking care of yourself. I said no to my friends who invited us over for dinner today and wanted to just take this weekend to be with the kiddos and relax. I always take care of myself but when you are sick, you need extra care, love and lots of rest, not forgetting fruits and soup.

I am doing everything I need to keep myself comfortable at home. We have been ordering out and just cuddling on the sofa. There is no need to plan or finish my laundry or clean the kitchen or do anything else till I feel better. I know a lot of people know how to take care of themselves but I also know a lot of people who still try to do a lot even when they are under the weather. There is no need to keep on going. Get help if you need to but don't push yourself if you are already under the weather.

As a mom, I know we always feel and do have a long list of things to do, but we also need to care for ourselves, not just when we are sick but otherwise and we need to care of ourselves the way we care of others and the kids cause if we don't, no one else can do it for you and you need to get better so you can continue to do what you do.

If you have family and friends around, great. But for me, my parents don't live in this country so even when I am sick,  I can't call my mom to come over and help and there is no family close to help either. So its all me, but I have stopped worrying and am taking care of me, not just because I have the flu but everyday. Taking care of my health everyday, nourishing my body with good foods and keeping my stress levels low. So as I recover, I came up with this:

Get well soon, 

take care of yourself, 

all the rest can wait, but not your health. 

Soup is great for body and soul, 

don't forget the water, 

help yourself to get rest 

so you can be your best. 

Hope you stay health and wish you lots of love!

Peace,

Monita