SPRINT FORWARD

This morning at my boot camp class, the instructor had stations set up as she usually does. One of the cardio stations we sprinting forward towards the end of the street and jogging backwards. As I stood waiting for the bell to start, I saw two arrows. One facing forward and the other the opposite direction. For the final 20 seconds before the bell went off and my heart rate being up, I stared at the arrow and thought about my future life. I even had slight glimpses in my mind of me a month from now and where I wanted to be. For the last 5 seconds as she was counting down to start, I looked at the arrow pointing in the opposite direction and thought about my past, mainly the hardest lessons learned.

So I sprinted forward where the arrow on the road was pointing and jogged back. The class was certainly a lot of fun, however, for the first time, I noticed the arrows since we usually do cardio indoors or along the side walk, but never on the road. 

The arrows and sprints back and forth certainly got me thinking this morning. I have been spending quite sometime in the arrow pointing backwards in my life. Do I think that it is necessarily a bad thing? No, in fact I think it is necessary. As I got into thinking about the opposite facing arrow, I thought about how far I have come and how much I have grown. I also thought about some of the hardest lessons I learned. 

The one thing I chose not to do is to stay in the past and think about how some people have hurt me or be bitter about it. There are many that have, but what I want is to get to a point to not be bitter about it but to look at what I have learned and things that I myself can improve on to become a better person so I don't hurt other people. If I continue to see the opposite direction, then I will miss what is in front of me or even slightly ahead. 

I decided at my boot camp class that I will always sprint forward towards creation. Sure you don't want to dream too much about the future or the past or you will miss the present. The sprinting forward is towards being the better version of me one small goal at a time. 

It certainly is not dreaming all day about the future. It's about looking at the arrow on the road I am on to make sure I stay on that path. Look ahead but not too far that you see yourself disappearing into the unknown. Remember a sprint is only a small distance so you don't have to look very far ahead of the arrow. Just a small distance or a goal. 

It is giving it your all when you are sprinting. Get your heart rate up, sweat, push and then push harder beyond your limits. For me this means create, write do what you need to do and pushing myself even if it is one word, not far but just till I can see sightly ahead, then slow down, learn, dream and repeat. 

I want to use sprinting towards the arrow and always making sure that I am becoming  more myself, fulfilling more of my dreams and working on making a difference with the people I meet on the way. It 's where I want to be. Some things may not be in my control but I can still choose to make a difference. I hope that by looking ahead, I will continue to be proud of myself when I do look back.

Sprint forward and jog backwards made me think about my life. Go towards who you want to be, make your dreams come true and when, in your mind, you look back, take a walk or jog, so you can appreciate how far you have come and take the lessons but don't stay there. Go slowly back if you need to but keep the focus on things that are relevant to you minus all the other stuff, all the good memories and not be bitter with anyone or any situation. Sprint towards the creation of life you want to have with the focus on improving you. Everything else will take care of its own. This is what I strongly believe in.

I feel if I continue to move forward, which is happening this very moment, I will be more at peace. Our lives at this point is only pointing in one direction and we all are moving towards it. Sometimes though I do not like the way it moves. Whenever there is a stone or an uneven pavement in front of me, it throws me off and I am never any good at dealing with that.  I will say though that those stones have been in my way and I have let it stop me from following that arrow.

This morning though, I was by myself at that station which has never happened. It kind of took me by surprise. Usually there is always one other person if not more. I was by myself doing those sprints on a beautiful morning where it was 62 degrees and the sun was just coming up. I could see it among the clouds and it was so perfect. This was a reminder for me.

I sprinted forward all the while thinking okay I am going to create and write everyday even if it just one sentence or 2 words. But I can't stop now and as I jogged back, I remembered all the heartache I experienced not writing and all the people who thought I am no good any thing. Then I turned around and ran so fast towards that arrow and said, not more Monita. You have learned and grown and now you look at that arrow and keep looking at that arrow. 

Friends, its amazing what my boot camp class taught me and I felt so good when I left. It was like a sign for me to be all alone outside doing those back and forth but what a reminder. I always knew but in the midst of everyday life I forget the arrow that points forward. It's like nature and the energy I have  and pushing myself was telling me something. It's about time I paid attention right...

So there you have it. Me standing in front of my arrow which is pointing forward and I am getting ready to sprint. I love it and I hope that you too keep on your lane and focus on your arrow pointing forward. We all have one life to live. We have to take care of it and let ourselves just point towards the front. Not too far ahead, just one sprint at a time.

Wish you love my friends!!!

Peace,

Monita

CLOUDY DAY

I woke up this morning feeling every inch of my body ache. We had a crazy weekend with back to back friends at our house so my schedule for the last couple of nights has been totally off. I went to bed late and woke up late. It was all good fun though. I love my friends and we all had a great time. Being the introvert that I am, two days of back to back entertainment has me feeling so drained, mentally and physically.

The kids had a blast and it was so nice to see them just so relaxed and hanging out with their friends. So here we are on a Sunday and now I have to get ready for another week at work. My mind is certainly not into it and today is just the kind of day where 'i feel like hanging out doing nothing but spending time with the kids and maybe taking a nice walk outside.

If I would describe the way  that I feel today, in one word it would be cloudy. There is no chance of the sun peeking through but that does not mean that I will not try. I have had many cloudy days and especially when I have be over stimulated..up late, chatting, having tea and being so tired that I can barely fall asleep.

I started to open this page totally blank in my mind for sometime. I was trying so hard, a bit to hard, to find something fun that I wanted to write about on a Sunday morning. But then I said well, i am just going to write about anything and see where this goes. Sometimes we try so hard to find the words to write or to say but we don't have to. We don't have to think so much about it. 

We do have to however, just let it come naturally and it does come. I overthink sometimes a bit too much and its a lot worse when I am having a cloudy feel day. So for me the thing to do is just rest and let me body and mind heal. I will stay away from anything that may be too over stimulating and keep it low key. So more time to sit outside and more deep breathing exercises.

Are you also having a cloudy day? Maybe take a nice long bath, go for a walk and be with loved ones. More importantly, do not push yourself. I have been going to the gym the last 6 days and also told myseld that I will wake up today and go. Well that is certainly not happening.

I am even not going to push myself in anyway. Being so exhausted is also probably not going to help with me eating healthy today. I do have to be careful since when  I am exhausted, i tend to reach for foods that are not healthy, like bread and other carbohydrates. So its really important that even though you are having a cloudy, you pay attention to your eating habits. It's like when we are emotional, we tend to reach for the first not so healthy food in our refrigerator. 

The thing is if we fill ourselves with the not so healthy food, we will end up feeling worse. With the way that I am already feeling, it's even such a struggle to even empty out my dishwasher so maybe that can wait till later in the morning. I need to make sure that I fill myself up with foods that are good for me and that would not add on more cloudiness in my day.

My kids are also feeling so exhausted. So another thing to keep in mind is my temperament today so it does not affect them negatively in any way. They are already tired so they need me to keep my voice and tone in check. I did tell them first thing this morning about the way i am feeling and they did the same so we have begun the day with the understanding that we are all having a cloudy feeling day and it's okay. 

The key is to just keep those mental and physical aches in check and take frequent breaks. Don't push yourself unnecessarily. I am still adding value to my life on this day by taking care of my.Taking a nap sounds so right now and it's only 9:30 a.m. But who cares. I can keep this post short and take care of my kids and myself on this cloudy feeling day.

Being out in nature certainly helped me this morning. I refreshes my mind and keeps my alert even when I am beyond exhausted. It's amazing just hearing the birds and sitting outside with my cup of chai has already helped me un-knot my aches. Deep breathing my friends!!! So off I go and continue to do what I need to do to get through this day.

Wish you love my friends!!!

Peace,

Monita

FEAR

So in my last post, I wrote that "FEAR...is the beast inside of us that stops us from braving".  I don't mean beast in a bad way, just in a huge way. I have been thinking a lot about fear and how it has and still shows up in my everyday life. Fear gets in the way of everyday life. After realizing how many times fear has actually showed up,here are some things that I have learned and helped me.

Fear is defined as "an unpleasant emotion cause by the believe that someone or something is dangerous, that is threatening us, and that is causing us pain".

Fear can actually help or hurt our growth. Fear is the thing that stops us, not just from being brave, but from a lot of other things and shows up in different areas of our everyday life. 

Fear can be useful in many ways. You also have different types of fear. For example, I have fear of snakes, spiders and many other things. My fear kicks in high gear if I were to see anything that scares me. I sweat and my heart beats at a very rapid rate. So this is also known as the "flight or fight" response. If I see a spider, I will run away from it or scream. That is just my fear of spiders causing me to react that way. We all have something inside of us that we are scared of and causes us to react. It's completely normal and I am not sure that I will ever get over some of my fears. You may not either completely get over some of your fears and that is okay.

So that type of fear is actually normal. We all have fears. Some are more frightening than others and some of us are better able to handle fear than others. Some people are even dare devils and dare each other in scary adventures. I am certainly not that type.

The fear that I want to write more about is fear of say starting something new, or acting on something, or doing something for yourself. Its fear of some of the everyday life situations that we face. 

How do we face this fear? Well, I think the first thing is to feel the fear. Feel what is it that you are afraid of. You have to know that it is fear, then you can address it . It is important that we face the fear or address it and not let the power of fear take over us. 

There are many situations that we encounter everyday, such as, say not saying how you truly feel about someone or something because you are afraid that they won't like you or maybe it's the reaction that you are afraid of. Another possible scenario, maybe you are trying to lose weight and afraid to step in the gym, or attend a group class, or finding a job that you love, standing up to your boss and saying hey I deserve the raise, promotion etc. 

Fear gets in the way of being our best selves. The best way when dealing with fear is not to turn your back on it but to face it, head on. Don't run away from your fear but walk towards it. Feel the fear and then work towards dealing with it.

Ask yourself what is the worst thing that can happen? In the case mentioned above about walking into a gym for the first time, that was me some years ago when I had put on over 50 pounds pregnant with my first child. It was the hardest thing in the world to even decide to drive to the gym, tour it and sign myself up. I was really heavy and felt really scared about others looking at me since I was not able to run or walk up the stairs without loosing my breath. 

I thought to myself, if I don't do this for me and let me fear rule, then I am really not living my life and not valuing myself. I love myself and wanted to improve on my health. If I started to worry about what other people thought about me or talked about me, then I am in trouble. I mean why should I let others stop me on my tracks towards my better self.

I walked into the gym and worked out and did not give a damn about the person next to me or around me. I did what I had to do and did not let my fear get in the way. Dealing with this type of fear is also a lot easier then some of the other situations. But I believe there is always a way. 

I also journal about my feelings and my fear. It definitely helps to write down what you are feeling to get a better sense of how you want to deal with it, or talking it out with someone who you trust, maybe your best friend or significant other. Someone who you know if help you through it and not discourage you.

The thing is we all feel fear but it is also one of the hardest emotion to face or talk about. It's a lot easier to not do anything about it or to turn your back. Real bravery comes from facing it head on. We all have to help each other with our fears and extend an ear to listen, or a hand, even a hug to anyone. 

Not facing with it and just letting it ride is probably not the best thing. Fear can turn out small but not dealing with it can turn into something huge and debilitating for your life. it could be you are running away from your true life without you realizing it. 

Some of the other ways that will help in dealing with fear is to practice deep breathing exercises regularly, reduce your stress levels and practice moments of silence. Be in constant touch with your self. Ask yourself the question do I really want to ignore the situation? What is really stopping me? and what do I need I right now to face this? 

Most importantly though is to believe that you can face your fear. Believing is really important in anything we do. If you don't believe, you are not living your true life. Believe that you can face it and overcome your fear.

Giving yourself some time and space will definitely help you deal with your fear. Keep in mind, fear can be a good thing but also the hardest thing to face. 

I struggle with fear everyday. I also see it in a lot of situations. It's actually a lot easier to just let it ride. I do that sometimes as well depending on the situation but the difference now is that I recognize what I am doing and why I am doing it. 

I am here to support you all in dealing with your everyday life fears and hope we can all do the same for each other. I truly believe in myself and in you all in facing fear. Lets do this together!

On that note my friends, wish you love!

Peace,

Monita

BRAVE

We all have had instances in our lives where we wished we would have not let fear ruled us, or another words been a little more brave..ish. I know that I certainly have. Be it trying something new, which was swimming in my case and leaving my parents to come to the U.S for the first time at the tender age of 18 which was really scary.

Being brave is not something that comes easily to some people and not to me. There are a lot of dare devils in this world but I feel that it takes a lot of courage and perseverance. We all have encountered situations where we either backed out of doing something brave or saying something bravely or just decided to not act on it. I for one have been in many situations where just taking the easy approach out was easy and always won.

I feel at this stage in my life brave is the way that I want to lead the rest of my life. I mean seriously what is the worse that can happen? Not acting on it or not doing anything about it will only make us regret it at some later point.  I will definitely not want to have any regrets this point out. 

So some of the questions I ask myself constantly are:

What are the consequences if I don't act on something? 

How will it make me feel? 

Will I regret it at a later point? 

What is the worst thing that can happen? 

What am I afraid of? 

Do I just need a little time to act on it or think it through? 

What do I need at this moment to make me follow through with this? Sometimes, this one can just be a motivational quote, talking to myself through it or with a friend, or a little silence.

I think that once you have answered these questions or other questions you may have, you will decide whether to act on it or not. Acting bravely in some situations is a little easier than say dealing with life's tough situations and emotions. Or when you have to confront someone about feelings, or talking about  a relationship issue. When something really matters like standing up to the truth or something I feel strongly  it is a lot easier for me to act on it right away. 

When the situations about confronting a loved one or a friend where emotions are strongly involved that becomes easier to put off rather than dealing with it bravely. Rejection does make one feel awful. It hurts and makes us feel unwanted or we start to question ourselves, like what is wrong with me. However, the consequences of not facing it is worse. You will get over it, you can deal with rejection and hurt, but you will not get over not acting bravely. 

FEAR...the beast inside of us that stops us from braving. So fear always gets in the way being the best of ourselves. We all have feared and allowed fear to, at some point, run our lives. Its always brings me back to, what is the worst thing that can happen? Sometimes in certain situations, it allows the worst to come out of us. A lot of times though I think we don't recognize it is fear that stops us or pushes us from doing a lot of things. How do we deal with this fear?

For me, if fear is the thing that is stopping me, I have to first recognize the feeling. You can't do anything about a feeling if you first don't name it. I then, write it down, I am fearing this because.. then I also write or think how am I going to get over my fear, what steps can I take, and I breathe throughout the whole time, and in the end, depending on the situation, I either brave the fear or don't.

Friends, do not underestimate the power fear can have over you. You have to push through and persevere. Don't give up. if you need time or feel now is not the time, listen to your gut and heart. That is acting bravely, from listening to what your feelings and heart is telling you to do and acting on it accordingly. It takes guts, it takes courage, it takes a voice or an action to act bravely but do not just push it aside and take the easy road. 

Sometimes you need to stand up to people, to speak for your right, to say "Hey this not right", or"Hey this is the way I feel about this". It's speaking, it's acting, it's doing everything little thing that can possibly even hurt you. It's loving the person who does not love you, it's saying "I love you", to someone who may not reciprocate, its protecting your young children but it is also teaching them to be brave with their lives.

As a parent, I want to make sure that I model being and acting bravely whenever I can with my kids. I also make sure that they understand that you will have other feelings involved when facing something scary or uncomfortable. It's not to ignore any of those feelings, its reflecting on it and then taking the steps, small steps.

When my daughter started to learn how to swim, she only wanted female instructors. She was only 3 at that time so understandable. As she got older and more comfortable in the water, the instructors that she wanted moved on and were no longer available. She moved to a different group class that had a male instructor. Initially, she felt very afraid of going in the pool and felt scared that the male instructor was not going to be as good.

I had to first acknowledge how she was feeling. We talked through her feelings which can be hard to understand when you are at that age. We had to take small steps but I helped her through it. There were times when she did not want to go in and flat out refused. I did not push her. We talked and I hugged her and told her it was okay. She loved the pool, just not the being taught by the male instructor. After some time though, and making her watch how great he was with other kids, she took the first step and went in. The key was not to push her and to let her go in the pool when she was ready.

It did take a couple of classes before she got comfortable and now she loves the pool and all the instructors, be it male or female. She acted bravely by deciding to take the first small step of just sitting and watching on the side of the pool and watching how good of an instructor he was.

We all have to sometimes sit and watch and maybe talk to others before deciding to jump in. But we have to be careful with paying attention to the feelings and then acting accordingly. 

I always say my kids have certainly taught me so much and also taught me to be brave. Watching them always gives my the courage to act bravely, for me and for them. It's important to talk to someone if you are afraid of doing something and trusting yourself.

I am not saying that you have to act on every situation but trust your instincts and if something is pushing you to act bravely then certainly do. The worst is regretting it at a later point.

 So my friends, I will be BIG brave, will live it, speak it and act it. I hope for you the same. We can all help each other to be a little more brave! Am rooting for you! 

On that note my friends, wish you love!!!

Peace,

Monita