We all have had instances in our lives where we wished we would have not let fear ruled us, or another words been a little more brave..ish. I know that I certainly have. Be it trying something new, which was swimming in my case and leaving my parents to come to the U.S for the first time at the tender age of 18 which was really scary.
Being brave is not something that comes easily to some people and not to me. There are a lot of dare devils in this world but I feel that it takes a lot of courage and perseverance. We all have encountered situations where we either backed out of doing something brave or saying something bravely or just decided to not act on it. I for one have been in many situations where just taking the easy approach out was easy and always won.
I feel at this stage in my life brave is the way that I want to lead the rest of my life. I mean seriously what is the worse that can happen? Not acting on it or not doing anything about it will only make us regret it at some later point. I will definitely not want to have any regrets this point out.
So some of the questions I ask myself constantly are:
What are the consequences if I don't act on something?
How will it make me feel?
Will I regret it at a later point?
What is the worst thing that can happen?
What am I afraid of?
Do I just need a little time to act on it or think it through?
What do I need at this moment to make me follow through with this? Sometimes, this one can just be a motivational quote, talking to myself through it or with a friend, or a little silence.
I think that once you have answered these questions or other questions you may have, you will decide whether to act on it or not. Acting bravely in some situations is a little easier than say dealing with life's tough situations and emotions. Or when you have to confront someone about feelings, or talking about a relationship issue. When something really matters like standing up to the truth or something I feel strongly it is a lot easier for me to act on it right away.
When the situations about confronting a loved one or a friend where emotions are strongly involved that becomes easier to put off rather than dealing with it bravely. Rejection does make one feel awful. It hurts and makes us feel unwanted or we start to question ourselves, like what is wrong with me. However, the consequences of not facing it is worse. You will get over it, you can deal with rejection and hurt, but you will not get over not acting bravely.
FEAR...the beast inside of us that stops us from braving. So fear always gets in the way being the best of ourselves. We all have feared and allowed fear to, at some point, run our lives. Its always brings me back to, what is the worst thing that can happen? Sometimes in certain situations, it allows the worst to come out of us. A lot of times though I think we don't recognize it is fear that stops us or pushes us from doing a lot of things. How do we deal with this fear?
For me, if fear is the thing that is stopping me, I have to first recognize the feeling. You can't do anything about a feeling if you first don't name it. I then, write it down, I am fearing this because.. then I also write or think how am I going to get over my fear, what steps can I take, and I breathe throughout the whole time, and in the end, depending on the situation, I either brave the fear or don't.
Friends, do not underestimate the power fear can have over you. You have to push through and persevere. Don't give up. if you need time or feel now is not the time, listen to your gut and heart. That is acting bravely, from listening to what your feelings and heart is telling you to do and acting on it accordingly. It takes guts, it takes courage, it takes a voice or an action to act bravely but do not just push it aside and take the easy road.
Sometimes you need to stand up to people, to speak for your right, to say "Hey this not right", or"Hey this is the way I feel about this". It's speaking, it's acting, it's doing everything little thing that can possibly even hurt you. It's loving the person who does not love you, it's saying "I love you", to someone who may not reciprocate, its protecting your young children but it is also teaching them to be brave with their lives.
As a parent, I want to make sure that I model being and acting bravely whenever I can with my kids. I also make sure that they understand that you will have other feelings involved when facing something scary or uncomfortable. It's not to ignore any of those feelings, its reflecting on it and then taking the steps, small steps.
When my daughter started to learn how to swim, she only wanted female instructors. She was only 3 at that time so understandable. As she got older and more comfortable in the water, the instructors that she wanted moved on and were no longer available. She moved to a different group class that had a male instructor. Initially, she felt very afraid of going in the pool and felt scared that the male instructor was not going to be as good.
I had to first acknowledge how she was feeling. We talked through her feelings which can be hard to understand when you are at that age. We had to take small steps but I helped her through it. There were times when she did not want to go in and flat out refused. I did not push her. We talked and I hugged her and told her it was okay. She loved the pool, just not the being taught by the male instructor. After some time though, and making her watch how great he was with other kids, she took the first step and went in. The key was not to push her and to let her go in the pool when she was ready.
It did take a couple of classes before she got comfortable and now she loves the pool and all the instructors, be it male or female. She acted bravely by deciding to take the first small step of just sitting and watching on the side of the pool and watching how good of an instructor he was.
We all have to sometimes sit and watch and maybe talk to others before deciding to jump in. But we have to be careful with paying attention to the feelings and then acting accordingly.
I always say my kids have certainly taught me so much and also taught me to be brave. Watching them always gives my the courage to act bravely, for me and for them. It's important to talk to someone if you are afraid of doing something and trusting yourself.
I am not saying that you have to act on every situation but trust your instincts and if something is pushing you to act bravely then certainly do. The worst is regretting it at a later point.
So my friends, I will be BIG brave, will live it, speak it and act it. I hope for you the same. We can all help each other to be a little more brave! Am rooting for you!
On that note my friends, wish you love!!!
Peace,
Monita
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