So in my last post, I wrote that "FEAR...is the beast inside of us that stops us from braving". I don't mean beast in a bad way, just in a huge way. I have been thinking a lot about fear and how it has and still shows up in my everyday life. Fear gets in the way of everyday life. After realizing how many times fear has actually showed up,here are some things that I have learned and helped me.
Fear is defined as "an unpleasant emotion cause by the believe that someone or something is dangerous, that is threatening us, and that is causing us pain".
Fear can actually help or hurt our growth. Fear is the thing that stops us, not just from being brave, but from a lot of other things and shows up in different areas of our everyday life.
Fear can be useful in many ways. You also have different types of fear. For example, I have fear of snakes, spiders and many other things. My fear kicks in high gear if I were to see anything that scares me. I sweat and my heart beats at a very rapid rate. So this is also known as the "flight or fight" response. If I see a spider, I will run away from it or scream. That is just my fear of spiders causing me to react that way. We all have something inside of us that we are scared of and causes us to react. It's completely normal and I am not sure that I will ever get over some of my fears. You may not either completely get over some of your fears and that is okay.
So that type of fear is actually normal. We all have fears. Some are more frightening than others and some of us are better able to handle fear than others. Some people are even dare devils and dare each other in scary adventures. I am certainly not that type.
The fear that I want to write more about is fear of say starting something new, or acting on something, or doing something for yourself. Its fear of some of the everyday life situations that we face.
How do we face this fear? Well, I think the first thing is to feel the fear. Feel what is it that you are afraid of. You have to know that it is fear, then you can address it . It is important that we face the fear or address it and not let the power of fear take over us.
There are many situations that we encounter everyday, such as, say not saying how you truly feel about someone or something because you are afraid that they won't like you or maybe it's the reaction that you are afraid of. Another possible scenario, maybe you are trying to lose weight and afraid to step in the gym, or attend a group class, or finding a job that you love, standing up to your boss and saying hey I deserve the raise, promotion etc.
Fear gets in the way of being our best selves. The best way when dealing with fear is not to turn your back on it but to face it, head on. Don't run away from your fear but walk towards it. Feel the fear and then work towards dealing with it.
Ask yourself what is the worst thing that can happen? In the case mentioned above about walking into a gym for the first time, that was me some years ago when I had put on over 50 pounds pregnant with my first child. It was the hardest thing in the world to even decide to drive to the gym, tour it and sign myself up. I was really heavy and felt really scared about others looking at me since I was not able to run or walk up the stairs without loosing my breath.
I thought to myself, if I don't do this for me and let me fear rule, then I am really not living my life and not valuing myself. I love myself and wanted to improve on my health. If I started to worry about what other people thought about me or talked about me, then I am in trouble. I mean why should I let others stop me on my tracks towards my better self.
I walked into the gym and worked out and did not give a damn about the person next to me or around me. I did what I had to do and did not let my fear get in the way. Dealing with this type of fear is also a lot easier then some of the other situations. But I believe there is always a way.
I also journal about my feelings and my fear. It definitely helps to write down what you are feeling to get a better sense of how you want to deal with it, or talking it out with someone who you trust, maybe your best friend or significant other. Someone who you know if help you through it and not discourage you.
The thing is we all feel fear but it is also one of the hardest emotion to face or talk about. It's a lot easier to not do anything about it or to turn your back. Real bravery comes from facing it head on. We all have to help each other with our fears and extend an ear to listen, or a hand, even a hug to anyone.
Not facing with it and just letting it ride is probably not the best thing. Fear can turn out small but not dealing with it can turn into something huge and debilitating for your life. it could be you are running away from your true life without you realizing it.
Some of the other ways that will help in dealing with fear is to practice deep breathing exercises regularly, reduce your stress levels and practice moments of silence. Be in constant touch with your self. Ask yourself the question do I really want to ignore the situation? What is really stopping me? and what do I need I right now to face this?
Most importantly though is to believe that you can face your fear. Believing is really important in anything we do. If you don't believe, you are not living your true life. Believe that you can face it and overcome your fear.
Giving yourself some time and space will definitely help you deal with your fear. Keep in mind, fear can be a good thing but also the hardest thing to face.
I struggle with fear everyday. I also see it in a lot of situations. It's actually a lot easier to just let it ride. I do that sometimes as well depending on the situation but the difference now is that I recognize what I am doing and why I am doing it.
I am here to support you all in dealing with your everyday life fears and hope we can all do the same for each other. I truly believe in myself and in you all in facing fear. Lets do this together!
On that note my friends, wish you love!
Peace,
Monita
No comments:
Post a Comment