ONE SMALL INCIDENT

Have you ever had a situation where you find yourself around someone or some people who, maybe because of something you did or said that upset them , they just never seem to get over it? Do you find that they only remember your not so very great moment as opposed to the rest of the good things that you have done?

I have a couple of relatives around me who seem to be behaving very strangely. Two of the relatives are pretty close and one is a distant relative. With the not so close relative, I had a situation where I was in a really bad mood, I mean super angry and charged up. There was a book that I was reading at that time and with one of the paragraphs, it caused a stir in my heart and brought up some unresolved emotions.

Nevertheless, the relative come to me rudely and said asked what was wrong and I basically said "leave me the F alone". Now ever since then, things have not been the same and we try to ignore each other as much as possible.

With the other closer family members though, they just never seem to want to talk or go about with a frown whenever I am there which makes me believe that they are carrying around some things that I have said that hurt them.

Now I don't go around hurting or saying words unintentionally. I have had some things said to me and done to me that are hard to forget by these family members. However, I still remember how good they are as a person and try my very best to be normal with them. But they make no effort whatsoever. I mean none.

I don't feel like like I am wasting my time with them. I keep the relationship as peaceful as
I can but still its hard cause I see them so often. I feel that because of the one or two things I have done in a moment, they can't seem to move on and see the other good things I have done for them.

It makes me feel like it is one sided. Now I know you are probably thinking who cares about them, move on, and don't let them bother you. I don't and I be who I am around them, my normal self.

My point in even writing this is I struggle sometimes when people do see and are blinded by the mistakes others make and refuse to see the person as a whole human. The attitude I see is a lot is well she said so and so and hurt my feelings  so I am now to be rude to her and never invite her over to my house. I mean it could just be the one time someone said something and the entire relationship is ruined. Sometimes forever.

Certainly if it is a close friendship, you feel hurt. Yes, he/she should have watched what they were saying and been more mindful. But don't we all have times, where we just said something and did not mean it. It just came out and perhaps not the way you meant for it to. We are humans after all and we all make mistakes.

I have learned my lesson and now I am very very careful with whoever I speak. Some people are more sensitive than others. Some are more like, who cares, you had a bad day, we did not take it personally, and some take it like a personal attack.

Now there are times when people really hurt you with words or physically. I am not referring to the more serious type of situations here. You don't just forgive or forget that easily for those but the other type where you are just having a bad day and accidentally say something rude or in a tone that may not be that friendly. I am that type of person who looks at the overall person and say okay he/she is having a bad  day. So what..everyone has them and you move on.

I have seen people that judge others completely for one small incident instead of looking at the WHOLE person. Is this person always this way or is it just this time or a couple of times, does the person overall have good intentions but just said something he/she should not have. You have to look overall at the person and not just remember the one day.

Other things to also look at is maybe someone is going through something personally , did not have a good night sleep,  is not feeling well, is stressed or maybe hungry. I mean so many factors play a role here. 

For me it was one of those day where I was just feeling down. Now my relative thinks I am the mean and rude person rather than remembering all the other good things I have done for them. They talk about me and rather have nothing to do with me, and this is just over "leave me the F alone". 

Seriously guys.. I am still nice to them and help them whenever I can. Its me. But the lesson here is no matter what I won't let them get to me. I will continue to be me and be friendly. They can think whatever it is that they want about me, for me nothing matters since I know who I am and I love myself. I don't need their approval. 

I also have been in situation with relatives and friends where they have said something rudely to me. I let them be for sometime and when they come around, after they have apologized, I let it go. If they said sorry and they realized they should not have said what they did, you let it go. If the person is important enough to you or you matter to them, it will not make a difference. You will find a way to forgive and move on. 

The one thing you don't want to do is to hold on and keep replaying it in your mind. It's not good for your health. In the case of my relative, I apologized but the person did not accept it. How do I know? By the way they talk and behave around me. It's not normal.

But I have moved on a long time ago and so that is the end of that. Lets all give each other a chance, show compassion and some understanding. You never know what someone else is going through so give them the benefit of the doubt, especially if the person has been good to you. Don't judge the person on one incident except as I mentioned above, when they call you names, yell at you or abuse you be it verbal or physical. Don't just accept that, please.

So I continue to learn and it is everyday. I always look for the lessons and way to continue nurturing myself and my soul. In the end, all that matters is I did my best, loved the best way I could and touched as many hearts as possible. 

Wish you love my friends!

Peace,

Monita

AT THE BEACH

We were at the beach over the weekend. It was just so nice to get away and relax. The weather was perfect when we left on Friday. We got there later in the afternoon and the kids immediately changed and went to the beach. The water was so warm and I was just so glad to be there and to feel the sand and water on my feet. 

The kids had such a great time. They were jumping as the waves came in and I just starred at them full of love and happiness as I joined in too on the fun. I took many deep breaths just feeling the ocean breeze, the water , the sand and seeing all the smiles on my kids and everyone around us. 

We always have such a great time at the beach. I am sure everyone does. It can be so therapeutic. It's so beautiful and for me I never seem to get enough. It was a short trip but next year we plan to go again for a week. I could live on the beach forever and hope I get to do that when I retire. 

Both my kids love the beach. they just have so much fun being in the water  or building sand castles or digging a hole for each other to get in. Kids really do know how to make the most of it and just really have a good time. It was so serene, so beautiful and I can't wait to go back next month for our next beach trip. 

As I was standing on the beach, I kept watching the waves come in and out. There were some pretty large waves and I was thinking to myself that how amazing it is that deep in the ocean the water is so calm. It reminded me of my soul and how underneath me where my soul lives, it is so calm in there. I really want to touch and feel that calmness everyday!

The next day was a stormy day. We could not go to the beach but the kids hung out at the pool most of the morning. No one was allowed in the water due to the rip currents and it was raining and thundering pretty hard. We watched the storm from the window and it looked like the ocean was so angry!!! The waves were huge and the winds were very strong. 

I kept thinking about the day before when it was calmer and beautiful. The weather forecast was predicting the storm to be done Saturday night and the sun to be out by Sunday morning. We were safe during the storm and enjoyed time at the pool and in the hotel room. It was really good quality time with each kid. 

Sunday morning when we woke up the storm had passed and it was a beautiful sunrise as you can see above. The waves were much calmer. We headed to the beach again and the kids had a little more time in the sun at the beach enjoying the water and the waves and playing in the sand. It turned out to be a beautiful morning before we headed back. 

As I was on the beach, I couldn't help but think about the the day before when it was so stormy and now the sun is out. There is a saying that "This too shall pass" that I have come to just love and keep reminding myself like a mantra. On Sunday morning, it was such a beautiful sunrise. It reminded me of our lives where one day, or month or a season it can be stormy but we have to remember that it was pass and the sun will always come out..always!!! 

There will always be another day, another sunrise and the storms in our life shall pass too. We just have to remember that while we are in the storm. While some storms are stronger than others, and hence, more difficult to deal with, we just have to get through it and push through it and find our way and safe ourselves. Maybe even remove ourselves and stay in shelter till the storm passes.

I have had many, many times in my life with pretty major storms. I only wished I had kept myself away from some of the situations I put myself into. For me, the storms were more internal highly charged emotions stemming from my past due to a few people in my life. As a result, I let the emotions control me and turned a light storm into a hurricane. And there were words that was said that can not be taken back, ever. 

So not whenever I experience these storms, which are a lot less frequent now thanks to me dealing with it, I always remember that underneath the strong waves of the ocean that come in and out, there is calmness of the water deep within, I am the same way too. I have a soul that is so calm within. I need to ride it out, find ways to stay away from hurting the ones I love with the wrong words, and let letting it pass. Perhaps, I need to be meditating at that time, or just being by myself till it settles.

I know that once I ride out the storm and prevent myself from letting my emotions rule over me, the sun will come out. I will feel a lot stronger internally, and my soul will be able to feel at peace. That's what I want. I want my soul to be at peace. So I will do whatever it takes to ensure that I don't hurt anyone during my storm. 

My friends, I hope that you too find the experience to being on the ocean as refreshing as I have for my soul. It has really done wonders for me and I hope to live by the beach someday. 

What happens at the beach, stays at the beach and for me, my experience with the storm on the ocean taught me first hand that it's just a storm and I can weather through it and the sun will be out the next morning!! Always!!!

Wish you love my friends!!!

Peace,

Monita

POSSIBILTIES

Possibilities..endless possibilities. Life is full of infinite possibilities. I was driving in to work today and heard someone from a radio station read out a quote that she came across, the quote was" Until you cross the bridge of your insecurities you can't begin to explore your possibilities", by Tim Fargo. 

How true is that!!!!  I loved the quote so much that I had to write it down right away. 

Now to be honest, it might be a very long bridge for me to cross!!! But I am determined to walk cross it no matter what. We all have insecurities about something but imagine if we faced our insecurities and came across to the other end. I imagine a big wide door will just swing open for us to walk in and there remains our possibilities. 

Possibilities to achieve anything we want, to do what we want, to live the way we want, to have anything we want, to say anything we want and the list goes on. I am sure that I will wake up everyday now and think about what lies ahead. 

I never really thought about the word possibility a whole lot. I always thought okay this is my life today, perhaps it will remain the same tomorrow and the next day, or this is the job that I have have and there are no other possibilities since this one checks off a list of benefits I need. 

I think I have been through so much in the day in and day out of everyday life that I never stopped to think about the possibilities that lie ahead of me. I mean I always knew that there were, of course, but to really pay attention to the word and think, who can I become?

We wake up every morning with a lot of possibilities for the day or hour or minute ahead of us and we have a choice. We have a choice to dream those possibilities and make it happen. Sure we have to face our insecurities, our fear, our anxiety, rejection, lack of confidence, experiences of failure or our own inside demons telling us we are not good enough. But what if we faced it and made the effort to move past it and work through it. I imagine our life as we thought it "should" be will be very different. 

Our environment plays a role as well. Our upbringing and cultural influences also tend to get in the way of our insecurities and the possibilities that lie ahead, however, lots of possibilities are always still within our reach. We just have to be able to see them regardless of anything else. 

If we are willing, our wildest dreams will come true. The first step always begins and ends with you. Personally, I still have  a lot of growing to do but my eye is on reaching the end of the bridge and I am not losing my focus on get to the other end of my insecurities.

I always tell my kids that life is filled with possibilities. We are so blessed to live in a country like America where the possibilities are just endless. I have lived abroad and will tell you that, for example,  for my education, there were not that many possibilities. Similarly for jobs and for healthcare. I had to create it and only by moving here and staying here did it happen for me. 

The possibilities are there everyday but the question always is are we willing to see it? Are we willing to face it? and are we willing to do it? I tell my kids never to lose your eye on what is possible for you. If you can dream it, you can achieve it. 

Day in and day out, there are so many options available to us. We can opt to let the person who cut us off on the drive in ruin our day, we can let the argument with our significant other get in the way, we can let the boss get in the way of our goals, we can let the rude friend or family member or the person that hurt us stay in our head or we can look at what happened and imagine the possibilities that lie ahead. Those can be the lessons learned, the emotional maturity growth, the happy future that lies ahead, the truth about other people you trusted, and the next great opportunity that has just shown up on your doorstep.

The difficult part is actually crossing that bridge. Some of us have childhood issues to resolve, parental issues, family, job, friends etc, just day in and day out life that happens to us, that maybe brings up all kinds of insecurities in us. We have to find a way to deal with them and not just setting it aside since we may be closing the door to our best possible life. 

Recognizing our insecurities whenever it shows up is the first step. Before you can actually do anything about it, you have to know and feel the insecurity first. We have to brave it and not let it stop us. 

I for one know that my life at this very moment is filled with endless possibilities. I know that my future is not waking up everyday and going to the same old boring job, just sitting and staring at the clock wondering when I could be get the hell out of there to do the thing I love. I make my writing happen every day even if for a few minutes, I make time for my kids everyday, for myself and my health. 

We owe it to ourselves and to our kids to cross that bridge. We owe it to our souls to live the life that was intended for us. Do you feel like this is it for you, that this is your future and n matter whatever it is that you are going through that there is nothing to come, that life is just meant to be this way. 

No!!! my friends no. It's difficult for me too day in and day out. My insecurities, my fear, my anxiety shows up in all situations and people I am dealing up. It's like talking to me and saying  here I am now deal with me. I say okay since my eye is getting to the end of the bridge. I want to know what's ahead of me. I persevere through it, I make sure to feel it and acknowledge it and  I take small baby steps to deal with it because I want the many possibilities to open up for me. It's important enough for me that dealing with all these other feelings have become a priority. 

Do we ALL have possibilities in our lives, absolutely. No matter where you are, even if you are struggling there are always possibilities. It has really become one of my favorite words to use and I keep reminding myself like a mantra. POSSIBILITIES. I even love just saying the word out loud.

It also helps see everything that you are going through in a different way as well. We all have so much going for us that I feel we just really need to wake up to. It's the possibilities of a better future, a better relationship, a better job, better living conditions... I mean the possibilities is just infinite.

How will the possibilities come to me if I am not ready for them. How will they come to you my friends. Be ready every single to day for it to knock on your door coz it will and when it does you want to make sure to answer the bell and open the door. 

Wish you love my friends!!!

Peace,

Monita

THE RIGHT SONG

Recently, the songs that I keep hearing, whether in my car or at a store or a friends home, have been songs that I need at that moment or day. I call them my "life me up" songs.

I am now tuning in to the music as a way to turn off my mind and just listen to the song playing. I usually listen to soft rock so nothing so crazy. 

When I am in the car with my kids, I love seeing them jamming away to songs that they love. They really get tuned in and want me to turn up the volume in the car. I don't talk to them or interrupt them if they are in the zone listening to music but I just watch them. It fills my heart with so much joy. 

I find that the more I pay attention to the way I am feeling, usually a lot of times, the right music will come to lift my spirits up  if I am down or lift it even higher if I am already in a de-stressed mood. I really does help you in amazing ways.

For those of you who work out know that having the right kind of music really helps to give you the boost in your workout. I love my  boot camp class where the music is so loud and just the right kind of music for me. It makes the workout go fast and also gives you the energy push to get through it. But even then, the right song can really push you to your peak as you are working out especially if you relate your personal experiences to the words of the song.

I know its just randomly something that will come on but it just seems such a coincidence. Just the right mix!!. The other day when I was driving home, the song have it all by Jason Mraz came on. It immediately took my back to when I first heard it at my daughters kindergarten graduation ceremony. I remember tearing up hearing it and just watching her growing up so quickly. I then silently said to myself "I pray that you have it all baby and so much more". I also then wished it upon myself!!!

Sometimes we just hear songs just for the sake of having some noise in the background if we are not used to the quiet. I tune into what ever song is playing wherever I am. Once I was driving home and "Girls just wanna have fun" came on the radio the day before my friends and I went out for  moms night out. So I kept imagining, while the song was playing, all the fun we were going to have the next day and we sure did. It's just a coincidence I know but amazing. I will take it. 

The other day, I was really feeling blue. When I got in my car, the song "Hold on" by Wilson Phillips came one and instantly made me feel better. I got the encouragement to really hold on.This has happened so many times where every time I am feeling stressed or just tired or down, there is always that right song to lift me up. One of my favorite pick me up song is by Lee Ann Womack, "I hope you dance". 

There are just times when a song comes on that takes me to a different place sometimes even to my past. You just all of a sudden remember either the first time you heard it or the song relating to your personally maybe with something that you are going through. Recently it seems like the songs that I hear are exactly what I need and it totally changes my day from the time I hear it.

I find being in my car especially on the way back home and tuning in to the music is a great way to de-stress. A lot of times, the song will remain in my head even after I come home!!! 

So my friends, maybe you can relate to what I am saying. Really tune in to the songs that you hear throughout your day and I am sure it will speak to you or just listen to it for fun. Either ways, it will do wonders for you!

Wish you love my friends!!!

Peace,

Monita

SUMMER

I love summer. I love it for the vibrancy and the bounty of life that summer represents. It’s the best season of the year for me. I grew up in a country where it was just one season all year round, which is summer, so for me I always look forward to summer. I love having the kids home from school, spending time with them, going to the gym or walking outdoors and just taking in the warm air. 

I especially love the fact that I don’t need to dress up in layers!! I always hate having to wear a couple of layers for the winter and bundling up. Summer is definitely my season.

I find that during the summer, I am at my best energy levels as well. I find it easier to loose weight, go to the gym more regularly, eating right or just overall being on a good mood. Perhaps it the longer days and just being out in the sun that tends to bring the best out of me. I also find myself more tolerant of things. It's amazing how the seasons can have an effect on you.

So every season I have my to do’s for the summer. I also like to have a list of to do’s especially now that school is over and the kids are home They are also in such a relaxed mood and we always plan to do something. The one thing that I wanted to do and have not done is to grill. I love to grill for the summer but that has not started yet.

So what is on my personal list of to do's. Well here are some of the things:

• Sit outside and read
• Write while being outdoors
• Have my morning cup of chai outdoors
• Go for biking with my kids
• Eat S'mores
• Have our favorite custard ice cream on weekends and weekdays if possible
• Go the library every week
• Go to the farmers market every Saturday
• Eat fresh fruit, lots of watermelon, peaches and other delicious foods.
• Plan for picnics with friends
• Visit more museums or take my kids somewhere new
• Play outdoors with my kids-soccer, cricket or just run around
• Run outside when it rains. I have never done this before, but would love to this summer.
• Go for a week to the beach and swim in the pool with my kids

Because summer is my favorite season, I make it point to make the most of it. Before we know it summer will be over and kids will be back in school. Also given my energy levels are the highest now, I make every moment count to do things that re-energize my spirit and nourish me. All the things above do.

I also make it a point to be careful about the types of people I mingle with. There are some relatives that honestly just completely drain my energy. I mean my tummy just gets so knotted whenever they are around so I try my best to meet them less. I would rather not meet them at all but they are family. I'll save the story for another time, however, the point is to be around people who are happy just like you and keep your spirit up.

Summer to me means nourishing myself in a way that seems different from other seasons of the year. I mean, I love fall, winter and spring but summer is usually the season I always look forward to and perhaps it's because I grew up in such a hot climate that my body just loves the heat.

 I do nourish myself and take care of me throughout the year, but summer is the time when all of my SELF really shines through. Perhaps I should really work on letting my SELF shine through all seasons and that would be my goal come fall, winter and spring.

A lot of people I know don’t like the summer and prefer another season. I think we all have our seasons. The point is that we make the most of it all the time.  Those of us with kids especially can relate to spending quality time with them for the 2 months that they are out of school and making every moment count.

I recently also wanted to grow my own herbs. Well, it is a little late now since I should have planted the seeds in spring. However, I bought a mint and basil plant and have been taking care of it. I love watering the plants in the morning and seeing it grow. The best part is I love mint and basil so plucking them and adding them to my lunches has given me so much joy.

My daughter has recently got into watering the plants and taking care of it. So for next year I hope to plant them a little earlier so we can enjoy it throughout the summer. The small things do count.

The kids love to sleep in late since they go to bed late. They have no schedule. I don't put my kids in camp all summer and instead prefer to let them just be kids and enjoy the summer. They do go to a couple of 1/2 day camps and a sports camp for 1/2 day but that's it.

I do want them to enjoy the summer and really remember the hot, sweaty days, the nights we make S'mores or just go to the pool. When I was young, we were always home for the school break and back then where I lived there was no concept of camps. So we were just playing outside and having fun.

Summer should be about fun. When I think abut summer, all I think about is planning things that will be fun since you can do so much outdoors. Kids should too get a break so they feel well rested and rejuvenated when they so return to school along with those happy memories.

During the summer months, I love seeing lots of kids outside riding their bikes, talking and playing with each other. It brings the kids so much joy to hang out and just be. Throughout the school year they are always on a schedule so they love it when they can stay up late.

I hope that we all take a little time to really cherish the summer days and nights. A lot of my good memories were always during the summer and I hope to create more for my kids and myself. 

Wish you love my friends!

Peace

Monita

YOGA

In the last month or so, I started going to yoga at the local gym where I live. I have never thought about about adding yoga to my workout routine thinking that I may never enjoy it or it may be too boring for me.

Nevertheless, I decided to give it a try. I attended a class for Vinyasa yoga and have fallen in love with it.

Vinyasa yoga or Ashtanga yoga focuses on the fast paced flow of the movements while synchronizing your breath. There is a lot of focus on the breathe which I love. We forget that our body automatically functions on its own and we don't have to "think" about breathing.

In Vinyasa joya you move along with deep inhaling and exhaling breathes and it actually make you more conscious. The poses are a little hard for me since I am a beginner but I am not giving up. I try to do them the best  I can and will modify if it gets too much.

Its been the only type of yoga class that I have attended due to my schedule. I would certainly like to try to add on more classes if I can.

If you have been thinking about yoga, I would certainly recommend it, not just Vinyasa yoga but any other types of yoga. The feeling that I have once I leave the class is completely different from my other more intense group fitness classes.

For one, I feel so relaxed. My shoulders are not hunched up and I feel my muscles feeling so good stretched out. I try to focus on my breathe a lot and the instructor, who is just so fabulous, keeps reminding us to inhale and exhale which helps with the focus on the breathe.

I also feel a lot calmer once I leave the class. I find myself speaking more slowly and calmly and not loudly.  The effect lasts for a while so I try to remember the after feel good affects throughout the day if I find myself in a position getting agitated by something or someone.

It has also reduced my stress levels quite a bit. I think that bringing awareness to your breathe not just during the class but also throughout the day does wonders.

It's not like my other intense workout classes and the main difference with Yoga I find is the attention to the breathe throughout the class. The after feel good effects are similar.

Sometimes, we forget about our breathing as we go about our day but consciously pausing and taking those breathes every hour helps.  I want to get to a point where I stop often and take my deep breathers with my eyes closed. One way for me to remember is using my Fitbit.

I have  a reminder on my Fitbit every hour for step o'clock where  it will beep and remind me to get up, stretch out and walk around the floor when I am at work. Many of us have a sit down desk job so it is a great way to remind yourself to get up and walk.

I have now decided to incorporate my deep breathing exercises as well. Just a few deep inhales and exhales with my eyes closed every hour. I am sure this too will do wonders for me through out the day and it's good for my heart and soul.

It brings you back to the present as well. I am sure that the constant pauses to pay attention to my breathe will not only help ease my mind but will do wonders to my day.

It really does not matter what type of yoga you do, but for me the benefits have been so great. I only wish that I had started it earlier in my life but there was really no chance. I can only make sure that I try to keep up with it a couple of times a week if not more. Yoga is such a great breathing exercise for the body, mind and soul.

One of the breathes that I love during my practice is the "Ujjayi" breathe. My lovely instructor says to breathe in filling your lungs all the way up then letting it go through your mouth making 'ahh' sound. We do it a lot more holding the downward dog pose at least 3 times and sometimes we let it go through the mouth while feeling a little constriction on the back of the throat. I love it!! Such a just way to deep breathe. You ought to give a try.

We also flow through the posses and some of my favorite one's are the downward dog, the resting pose, the warrior pose and the goddess pose. It's certainly all powerful posses and you can feel the energy in your hands and legs as your flow through them. It's really hard to describe and everyone's yoga practice will be a little different. If you do try it, you will see it for yourself.

I certainly will continue to try to improve on it and keep at it for as long as I can. It's one of those things where if you start, you will become addicted, in a good way, to the after effects. It's like the feeling that runners have after a good long run called the runners high. I call it the yoga high.

My friends, I love it. I hope I am able to continue with it and work around my schedule so I can keep up with the practice. I hope you too find something that you like or end up loving no matter what it is as long as you keep nourishing your mind , body and soul.

Wish you love my friends!

Peace

Monita