Hello Friends! Hope everyone is staying safe and healthy. Been 3 months since I last wrote on this blog. The pandemic has taken a turn in everyone's life and certainly mine as well.
Kids have been homeschooling which has been going better than I thought. They are both very disciplined and get their work done. I don't have to watch over them unless they have a question or get stuck.
Stuck we are indeed. We have been at home since March 11th and at first it seemed a little hard to get used to but I have to say that I am loving it. I do wish my kids were in school since they are missing that structure and seeing their friends. That has probably been the hardest for them. They do talk to their friends but it is certainly not the way that they are used to.
As adults, I think we are having a harder time getting used to all of this. It has been hard, no question about that. Kids are more adaptable than we adults are and that is just a fact. We adults have a hard time dealing with a lot of things pre-pandemic so this pandemic has made it worse. Kids are more flexible and more resilient than we are. They just are in the present moment and can say, okay so now this virus is here and I am going to be home schooled, oh well.
Kids do have a hard time with this pandemic for sure but they are not totally hung up on it. Sure its hard for them to be taken out of their school year and routine, but they go with the flow. We adults have a harder time since we have to deal with my own minds and a lot more responsibilities. I have to say they just over the last month, we point of view on all this has changed me drastically.
I am glad that we are in this pandemic. Not glad for the lives taken, the chaos that it has created in unemployment, in the health system, in every one of our lives, and in this world. Not undermining the seriousness of the virus and all that it can do to our bodies. Such a powerful force is scary. But I am glad, for me personally, how much it has allowed me to grow spiritually and made me realize that this life is short. I could die at any moment. I could really die at any moment and leave my kids behind. Damn!
I am thankful though for being alive now. I am alive, healthy and so is my family. That can change any day at any moment. This life is so unpredictable and this virus has taught me what is really important in my life. It has been my own awakening to my life and all the bull that I have kept up with, just praying and hoping every single day that things will change. No it doesn't if you don't wake up. I have been sleeping through all my life and now at the age of 45, this virus is yelling very loudly and saying:
WAKE UP MONITA!!! NOW IS THE TIME. I AM GIVING YOU THIS ONE LAST CHANCE. GET YOU LIFE TOGETHER AND DO IT NOW, NOW AND NOW. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH ALREADY. I AM HERE TO ELECTRIFY YOUR LIFE AND LITERALLY YELLING AT YOU. ARE YOU GOING TO LISTEN TO ME THIS TIME?
And I cry and I say YES!!! Yes I will. I am so sorry it took me so long but if not now then when, really when. All the days look and feel the same to me, nights and days are all one, weekdays and weekends, holidays are all one. This life is all ONE! I am one with life. I have had enough of the bullshit that I have been keeping up with and living my worth, my values, my life as if it belonged to others. HELL NO! No.
I know a lot of where I am today and what I have been doing has been for my kids. I always used to say I am making this sacrifice for them. Yes, it is a very noble thing for a mom to do but is that really true. Sacrificing my happiness, joy and peace for something that just churns by tummy everyday and causes so much stress to my body and my health. It will end up killing me one day. It really will.
So I say Hell No to all of the things I have put up with. I am going to rise up from living dead. Shake it all off and say my mantra.. Now is the time, Now is the time and now is the time.
I will be back soon. Wishing you peace and love my friends!
Peace,
Monita
