What a tumultuous year it has been. My last post was so long ago and it has been quite a year. It was hard, scary, full of ups and down and quite honestly, I am just grateful that it was also such a blessing in so many ways.
I have such a profound respect on our healthcare workers and everyone else on the front lines who have really put their lives at risk to save so many people. We obviously lost so many people this due to the Covid pandemic and witness such heartache and sadness and turmoil everywhere.
I know a lot of people and ready to put 2020 in hindsight as I am too looking forward to new beginnings and a change, a real change that is.
However, I am not ready to quite say goodbye yet to 2020 in these last few hours. I would like to really spend the afternoon reflecting on all the things that went right and lessons learned. Part of that involves a reflection on self, on my kids and family. What are some of the things that I could have done better, or avoided all together? How can I ensure that I leave 2020 behind without having any regrets?
To not have any regrets is really an impossible way to live life. We all have regrets and since March when Covid really started spreading, I knew that this day will come where we say goodbye to 2020 and greet 2021, now with just a few hours left.
Its hard to wait till the last few hours to really make peace with everything, but it also possible. One of the things that I am going to do is to spend a lot of time with my kiddos over the next few hours and talk to them about this day and moment means to them especially since this has been really on them as well.
I am also going to forgive myself for all the things that I said I was going to do, but never did. I am going to forgive those that hurt me and pray for forgiveness to those whom I may have hurt.
I am also going to express my gratitude for all the family time I have had and all the laughter's and the tears shed. I am going to make peace with everything that has happened this year and while taking a deep breathe, inhaling love and kindness and exhaling my ego and pain. Letting it go and knowing that I tried and did everything I could do in that best way I knew how given the circumstances.
I am also so proud of myself for all those times I took care of myself and my body, and for trying to be better every single day and doing the best for my children. I am certainly not done yet, but now is the time to really make peace with everything and know that there will be tomorrow and the sun will rise again. We will see 2021 in just a matter of hours.
So today I send prayers to my kids, my family and loving kindness to everyone out there. Leave 2020 behind and always remember to be gentle with yourself as you say goodbye to this year. We all have another year and that means a year full of opportunity. That is what I am looking forward to.
So Dear 2020, thank you for bringing me out and making me so much more self aware. Thank you for all the lives that are still living and to those who are recovering. Thank you for the most difficult year in lessons and thank you for the courage, bravery and resilience to take you on and fight you from all angles. 2020, I have loved being with you in this year and I have also hated you. Love always prevails and it does now. Not only love 2020 but hope and faith. So 2020, now its time for us to part ways and know that I will never forget you. Your time with me will always live in my heart and I shall never forget who it has forced me to become. You have torn me up to pieces, made me look at my reality and shook me really hard. You brought your dark side with the strongest hurricane like winds and tore the house down, not only on my insides, but so many people.
Now 2020, I am picking up the pieces and moving on and rebuilding myself. I am not dead yet and I know you are not quite done yet either. The Covid pandemic will continue in 2021 and I pray this time next year, it will not be celebrating New Years Eve with me. For tonight, it will be just me and kids. No one else and we will bring in 2021 together with love, hugs, kisses and a heart full of gratitude.
So goodbye 2020 from my heart and thank you again for keeping my and my family safe and healthy. I love you!
Keep the peace and love my friends! Happy New Year!!!
Peace,
Monita
