We all have different perspectives. We all view things from our own lens, as the way we see it. There are many different things that affect the way we see and judge situations, such as, the way we have been raised, our experiences, cultural differences and our personalities.
I have learned that it is not only my perspective that matters but also others. It took me a long time to learn that people all have different views and we need to be able to learn and respect others opinions and learn to look at things from another's perspective. It is not only our view that matters. This is where compassion, mind fullness and empathy play a role.
I am now constantly trying to look at another's perspective and keeping an open mind. Where are they coming from? I do not judge or form my own opinion about them, but try to look and understand what they are saying. We are all different human beings after all.
For example, some time last year my husband and I got into a huge disagreement about something. I was already in a bad mood and we met up with some friends, whom I don't get along with. It was a really bad idea to go ahead and meet them, given my bad mood. Needless to say, one of the ladies said something in a rude tone that set me off and I said somethings back to her in a not so nice tone. Now, my husband got mad at me, which mad things worse, since I thought he was taking her side. He kept telling me that I was in the wrong and was not looking at things from my point of view. He did have a point that I should have not come to meet up with them knowing how I was feeling that day. But I was so mad and could not look at things from his view. After many weeks of getting over the event, I realized that I really should have controlled my emotional response to her and really not put myself in that situation. I should have understood how my bad mood affected the whole evening with these friends and taken the view from their side.
So many times, we put ourselves out there and make it about us by looking at it only through our point of view. While I do certainly believe that in a lot of personal situations and personal life decisions, its our point of view that matters, but its always good to look to at it from the either side.
I can take my job as another example. I was always looking at it in terms of all that I have put in the job all these years and think I deserve much more. But the reality is that, maybe my current manager does not look at it that way and thinks differently. Its up to me to be open and how I take it.
We always have a choice and a decision every morning about how we intend to go through the day. Now, I always choose to be optimistic and positive. Its all in my perspective. I can look at the negative things that have happened and groan about it or I can look at it as the best thing that has happened to me and I will always choose to look it as as the best thing.
In my early 20's, I got into a serious car accident and had to be on long term disability for 6 months. At that time in the emergency room, I kept crying and saying that it is the worst thing that ever could have happened to me and now what am I going to do. It was actually the best thing that happened to me! During the 6 months on disability leave, I applied to other jobs and finally moved to another state to go back to graduate school and eventually met my husband.
It's always at that time, in the moment, when someone is going through a difficult period that it is really hard to take the different perspective. Sometimes you won't always see it that way, but there is always another way to look at it. I am not saying its easy to take a different perspective in some other more difficult moments in life such as when you are dealing with a death of someone. Its hard no matter what. But there is always a way to look at it as it was time and their time was up. Mortality will be a topic for another time.
I will also say it is difficult to not want to impose your opinions and try to prove yourself that your opinions are right. Its taking in another's point of view and being open minded. Empathy plays a big role here. Its really hard to teach empathy and really its up to the person to try to more empathetic. Some people can't see things through their four walls and are closed. Those people are the ones who will have a really hard time to look at another's perspective and I think really miss out on a lot. It's all a choice my friends.
One of the things that has really helped me is also to take the high view. When I try to take the eagle's eye view, I am definitely much more open. It's always better to look from the top and view the whole picture. Zoom out rather than zoom in. If you zoom out you get the big picture.
I know that in order to fully grow myself and completely nurture my soul, I will always look, see and hear everyone's point of view. A more open, empathetic Monita will be the way that I can help others see that way too.
We are all in this hand in hand my friends. Hope that we all make the decision to always be optimistic and to take the big bird view. As Chris Pine said:
"The only thing you sometimes have control over is perspective. You don't have control over your situation. But you have a choice about how you view it".
Wish you love,
Peace
Monita
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